My DH has just asked to borrow some money to buy me a birthday present!

[clottedcream]

...and Im fuming, upset and am nearly in tears.

Why?

Because he should have been more thoughtful, tactful and organised surely? Bloody men

Surely you'd be more upset if he hadn't bothered at all. At least he is trying for fuck sake.

at least he has remembered and he hasn't chucked some money at you and told you to 'get yourself something nice'

I'd be upset too, clottedcream.

lend him a £1000 and ask him how soon he can pepay it!

Agree with TrinityRhino

Think you are over reacting unless he has a habit of pissing money up the wall and is usually never short.

You're married shurly you share money?

At least he remembered.

I don't know your situation, but if you or he have money worries to the extent that he has no money at all, surely your having a present for your birthday is the least of your problems.

i would have much rather my DH asked to borrow money than not bothered (he told me at 10PM the day before my birthday that he hadnt got me anything as he didnt have the money) THAT is upsetting...

FWIW me and DH share all the cash in a joint account so i knew we had money but he panics if theres less than £100 at any given time...

I'd be upset too.

I mean, it's not as if the day crept up on him is it? He's only had 365 fucking days to get organised and save for a present, hasn't he.

So if you don't loan him the money then presumably you don't get a present? Nice. How thoughtful.

What a fuckwit.

Dont know the whole situation, so can't really comment. If my husband asked to borrow money to buy my present I'd laugh and give it to him. Plus I'd assume he had a brilliant idea planned but not enough cash to fund it, so I'd be intrigued.

BUT, thats MY situation. You really need to give more info or you're going to get mixed messages back from people here.

Am assuming there is some sort of backstory here, otherwise it seems like a gross over reaction.

Some might say that an adult getting tearful over a birthday present needs to, er, grow up a bit. But then different people have different attitudes to these things.

I was certainly unimpressed one year when then-H bought me a big bottle of Southern Comfort for my birthday. I don't drink the stuff, he does. And he bought it with my credit card. I was a mite ungrateful, so the next day he stopped at the off licence and handed me a tenner with something of a flourish, saying "here, get something you like". So I came out with a bottle of wine, and of course his comment was "But I don't like that!". No, I said, that is because it's MY birthday present and you have a massive bottle of Southern Comfort already. He just went "oh" and looked a bit mortified.

We don't 'borrow' money from each other. My money is his and his money is mine.

I thought that's how most good marriages work ?!

I agree with applepie.

It was my birthday last week and my husband bought me presents out of 'my pay as I get paid before him. At the end of the day, we only have a finite amount of money that comes into the house and it 'belongs to us both as we are married.

We have seperate accounts but if I need extra money, I either take his card or transfer money into my account and vice versa. I wouldn't even see it as 'borrowing.

At least he remembered :)

Asking to borrow money from you, so he can buy your birthday present?

Good Lord, are some people just immune to embarrassment or shame?

I think it's making you think he didn't plan/think.........= he doesn't care?

What is the back story? Is this the "last straw" so to speak?

My DP is a SAHD. He earns nothing. I have then, technically, bought my own birthday/christmas/valentines etc presents for the past 5 years.

Doesn't bother me, it's our money, it always has been.

It wouldn't bother me at all - actually I would always suggest I buy my own present as his taste is so awful .

Need more information really - does he usually buy you something?

Seems a bit of a princessy over reaction to me, so I am actually hoping there is more to this than the OP!