Sulky relative

[paddingtonsdufflecoat]

I have a feeling that a close relative is sulking.

I think it may have started christmas time, we went out for a Christmas meal and didn't invite them. Maybe we should have really, but her husband can be obnoxious to waitresses and generally brings attention to himself, so we didn't want our Christmas meal being ruined so didn't invite them. They normally come around here in the Christmas evening to see our child for a few hours, so we didn't think that they would mind as they have the lions share of our time on Christmas day anyway.

Anyway, one day my DH rang them to see if they want to come around for a cup of tea in the evening. The answer was 'yes, I will come round at 9 O'clock and I'll bring my husband along too (who had just had flu).' My DH then said that 9 O'clock was too late, that our DC was going to bed before then and please don't bring your husband today as we don't want to catch flu too.

So since then, they have just refused to visit when they normally would. I get the impression that they are sulking.

There's a lot of history going back years where they have upset us (or mostly the husband has and she just doesn't question him at all, just lets him say those horrid things) and we have just kept a happy face on, I just can't be bothered anymore. Then again, they can be generous and they are not all bad.

I've recently just found out I'm pregnant and I know that as soon as we announce it, they are going to be all over us (friendly) again.

Just feel like dropping contact as much as possible, but think it's going to be hard.

Deal with it as you would with a toddler's tantrum

ignore ignore ignore

Pretend you haven't even noticed. Let them get on with it while you just get on with your life without them.

It will drive them bonkers.

If this is an attempt to manipulate you, maybe get you begging for forgiveness or whathaveyou, then ignoring the behaviour is the best thing.

I'm not a doctor but have the impression that if you've just had 'flu you're not infectious? If you're in the middle of it then yes it would be, but then you wouldn't feel like socialising anyway...

I'm not sure Annie, that was the first time I heard he'd had it was when DH mentioned it on the phone, so I'm not sure if he'd had it long or not. It was just what DH had said to them (what I overheard), and he didn't want to catch anything as we were going away that week.

Well to be fair, the 'flu is as good an excuse as any to discourage the obnoxious one from visiting! However I suppose you can't be that surprised if his spouse doesn't come, given that only one of them is welcome.

Anyway, that's just speculation. Do what Hecate says and you can't go far wrong. Hecate is v wise.

Thanks both for the advice,

I think we will ignore for the time being and see if they contact us. If not, I really can't be bothered chasing.

As for the 'obnoxious' one, we've never really had words about it and he is always welcome in the house (it was genuinely the 'flu this time that made my DH say that).

TBH, we are not the only ones who feel like that about him. I am sure the whole family feels the same, just no-one mentions it and just puts up with it because of the wife.