when is enough, enough?

[MidnightWorry]

I feel like im being ripped in two. Weve just had another row, hes so angry.

I told him its over, he suggested that I might chance it on the male friend who will be staying tonight.

Ive had enough, im just so tired.

Im sorry.

MidnightWorry - that all sounds awful - on a practical level, are you sure you can't afford to live without him? Have you checked what tax credits etc you would be entitled to? It might not be easy, but it's got to be better than this.

Have a look at www.entitledto.co.uk which gives a fairly accurate assessment.

My H has recently moved out, but over a year ago, checking that site to see how the finances would work gave me the confidence boost I needed to know that I could manage on my own.

Just bin him and things will be better. Having an abusive man in the home is so draining and exhausting that the releif when you get rid is mindblowing.

If you feel tense and anxious all the time then your children are feeling even worse because they have less understanding of what's going on than you do so it's even more confusing for them. I'm not surprised their behaviour is deteriorating, they are living in an extremely damaging environment. As many others have said, your children will be better off living in a calm home on benefits.

Enough is enough now, Midnight.

Maybe it is time for you to reach out for help, to help you get some clarity and realize that you are in control of your own life and choices.

You could, for example:

• speak to a GP or home visitor about how you are feeling. They are professionals and they can help.
• speak to CAB to find out about your rights, what benefits you would be entitled to on your own, etc.
• speak to a good and supportive friend, one who will listen and provide a sympathetic shoulder to lean on. Getting all these bottled-up feelings out can really help.
• speak to Women's Aid (0808 2000 247) - they will understand exactly what you are going through, and listen to you non-judgementally, and give you advice if you ask for it.

What is the pattern of these arguments?

from a brief read doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.