What is unacceptable (long)??

[wobblyknicks]

This is really going to seem like I'm trying to turn advice queen all of a sudden but it's not. After everything that's happened recently, I just feel so stupid that I ignored bad events when it was obvious that I shouldn't have. One of my worst problems was that I didn't realise (because I was controlled by DH) exactly what was unacceptable to me and what was fine, I just ended up accepting everything.

So I was wondering what everyone else would find unacceptable behaviour in a relationship. The sort of thing that if it happened and the person who did it showed no remorse and didn't take huge steps to improve their behaviour, then you'd leave them. I thought;

ANY 'bad' physical contact (ie pulling hair, slapping, punching but not hugging etc).

Using threats or persuasion (saying please doesn't count as this!) to get sex when you don't really want to.

Blaming you for their behaviour

Insulting you, ridiculing you, or humiliating you more than you're comfortable with.

Constantly accuse you of lying.

Make you feel like you're wrong just because you disagree with them.

Could think of a few more but I'll stop there for now! Anyone have any others?

I think constant undermining, to the point where you really doubt yourself, probably counts too.

Not that I realised it at the time

Yes

controlling what you wear

keeping you away from family or friends or not letting you spend anytime on your own with them

financially controlling you

all a control thing really

that should also be alienating you from people also

yes, it's always about control! Maybe I should have bought DH a few Micropets and let him control them to his hearts content!!!

yes it is wobblynicks, you dont need a clip across the head to suffer domestic abuse.

motherinferior it is only years later that we learn- I was a knobhead.

doormat - and yet we STILL blame ourselves! LIke it was my fault for not realising what he was doing, not his for being so good at being a controlling t**t!!!

wobblynicks the last time I got a hiding off that piece of shite and he broke my ribs, I knew then it was not my fault, it was his.

I used to blame myself in the early years but you get to a point where it is to get out alive and sane out of the relationship or you go out in a body bag IYKWIM.

Bit extreme I know but in my case that was the reality of it all.