How do you just be yourself in front of people?

[DoNotDrinkTheWater]

I just don't seem able to do this unless it's someone I've known for absolutely years and years such as my old schoolfriends. I don't know whether it's that I'm desperate for people to like me or if it's caused by me having low self esteem but I don't want to worry about what people think and just want to think "this is me, take it or leave it".

For example, I went to a soft play place the other week with a friend and a woman shouted at my DS and wasn't very pleasant, but because a friend was with me I was worried she wouldn't like me if I stood up to this woman so I let it go. Also I do get quite anxious and nervous around people and I think this shows.

Thanks

I am me and if people dont like me they know where they can go like if people dont like the way i look, dont look! It took me a few years to get like this and although 23, i now dont give a stuff about what other people think, i feel like i am getting myself sorted out. Maybe asking your health visitor to refer you to a self esteem course would help you. x

I second what Ellen has said, it sounds as though you need a confidence building course as well. Find ways to build your self esteem.

Thank you Ellen. I'm currently seeing a counsellor so hopefully my self esteem will start to improve. I'd like to have the attitude that you have! :)

Thank you Birdsgottafly too :-)

'How do you just be yourself in front of people?'

1. By realising that it's far easier to be yourself than pretend to be someone you're not.

1. By realising that if you pretend to be someone you're not, you may waste your time and energy on attract people who may reject you when/if they realise that you're not the person you seem to be.

1. By realising that, behind their outward facade, a lot of people feel as you do; many feel anxious about meeting new people especially in group settings and that seemingly confident person you've just met may be feeling just as nervous as you.

4.. By realising that you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain, by being yourself

Sticking my two penn'eth worth in. I have massive self esteem issues and I have had counselling for over 2 years and I am finally starting to be myself around people. I was never myself around anyone other than my DH (definitely soulmates he knows everything about me and loves me anyway, which halped me think being myself wasn't all that bad then!)
Being yourself is difficult. Is it the fear that people won't like you that stops you relaxing and acting as you want to? With low self-esteem you need people to like you. Its taken me two years to fianlly come to the conclusion that if people don't like me thats their proplem.

Stick with your counselling, it may take time but my goodness its worth it!

There are very few people comfortable to be themselves in public, but there are a lot of people who want to be comfortable to be themselves in public. If you become yourself, you'll get different responses:

respect from some people as they realise and admire what you do

hassle from other people who feel threatened and insecure by what you do as they're worried you'll expose their fake pseudonym (sp?)

If you do be yourself in public, then spot the two types of people, and ignore the jealous idiots and spend time with those who respect you for what you've done. Definitely worth it IMO, but very uncommon to find someone who actually is in real life. Good luck :)