I asked for 'space' but nothing has changed

[BadMedicine]

Boyfriend and myself do not live together but have been together 'officially' around 3 years. We have ALOT of history. He has lied to me so many times, never unfaithful but sneaky and I always thought he WOULD be unfaithful should the opportunity present itself to him. In the past he has been disrespectful of me and very controlling. We split, then got back together when he promised he would stop trying to control me and stop lying (he's on his 3rd chance with the lying thing, I'm a mug).
So anyway 2 weeks ago I found that he'd joined 3 different dating sites recently. I couldn't even be bothered to argue with him over it. I told him I needed space to sort out my own feelings and have a bit of "me" time. He said he respected this and it was agreed that we would just have a break from each other for a few weeks.
Thing is since we agreed this, nothing at all has changed. He texts me every day with the same stuff he always has "hi beautiful, how are you today? x" etc - he has booked us a meal for valentines day where he's assuming I'll be sleeping at his house the weekend before, he's trying to arrange for us to go away this weekend - it's like he has literally forgotten that anything even happened. I feel like I'm falling back into the situation.

So don't.

Dump him. Change your phone number. Set a filter so emails are binned.

Get a RL friend to back you up and help if you "wobble".

He's an arse and you deserve better!

And it will never change, until you dump him. The patterns will go on and on, he'll carry on being "sneaky", you'll "forgive" etc etc. Do you want that kind of relationship for the rest of your life? Of course not. Like Flying says, you deserve better, you deserve someone who will treat you with respect. I'll bet my shoes that he's cheated on you.

So his feelings come first, and yours don't count. Well, at least you know before you've had kids, got married, moved in together or anything.

Dump him. Find someone who respects you.

You would be better off by dumping him. He looks like a real prat to me. As others said you deserve so much better for being so patient.

You've let him off on his frequent bad behaviour, therefore why should he be any different (may not be capable anyway).

OP you need to stand up to this manipulative twit for once and for all.

What makes you put up with him?

Lucky you he's only boyfriend I say.

Don't want to sound mean but for god sake stop being trampled over and dump the twit.

Its hard when you have a lot of history with someone but, he is not acknowledging you, your needs what you've asked for, and is taking you and your relationship for granted.

Its a question of he assumes you will always be around for him, your request for "space" didn't permeate his brain, because he obviously does not see you as that important. He is not treating you honestly or fairly.

I don't know how long you have been together, but I honestly cannot see a future for you together. Do you want to be just his "habit" that he doesn't listen to?

Take your time make a list of what you want in a partner in order of importance to you. Does he "tick" all the most important boxes?
Only you can make the decision of how you want to proceed because only you will have to deal with the consequences.

Be assured he will never change, can you live with it?

OK, you don't trust him, he is controlling and he has absolutely no respect for you. What is the point of the relationship?!?

You can't trust him now (rightly) because he has shown you he can't be trusted and he is on the look out for someone else or sex with someone else. So you know it's not all in your head, if that's his comeback on it. Don't think you should learn to trust him or that he will change into someone trustworthy - it's not going to happen - after three years, it should be there already. It isn't.

The way to stop yourself just falling back into the situation is to take control yourself. End it. You deserve better. You deserve someone with at least a modicum of respect for you, for a start. Stop taking his calls, block his number, his email, his facebook etc. Tell him you're done and goodbye.

Why haven't you just dumped him? I'm not asking this in an oh-you-silly-moo-just-do-it way, but I think you need to work out why you are clinging on to a completely shit relationship before you dump him and consider dating anyone else. Is it because you think troubled relationships with lots of breakups and makeups are romantic? Is it because you have been told that it's a dreadful sin and a shame for a woman to be single, so you cling on to the relationship you've got no matter how horrible it is?

Why are you flogging this dead horse? Just dtmfa.

He's worming his way back in because you're letting him. Which is disrespectful. So, he's treating you disrespectfully because you're letting him - you're still there. Thousands would have walked away already. It might be worth, as SGB says, considering why you haven't already bailed and what it says about how you view yourself.

I've been there, by the way. I have - to a t. It was so similar for me. I let it happen because I didn't value myself or really believe that I deserved better. When I did come to believe in myself, it was easy to stay away. because I just thought 'You're a knob - what am I DOING wasting my time on you?'.

Don't go through the motions and make empty threats. Really come to understand that you are worth more and you will be out of there like a bat out of hell.

you can't trust him! why are you carrying on the relationship?