WTAF is it with married men on dating sites?

[watchoutforthatsnail]

Post the whole MN affair advice thing last week, i thought this might be quite interesting, plus, i just dont get it - AT ALL.

Talking to a nice man online, after a few days we swap numbers, frantic flirting follows and he asks for a date. I tell him when im free and after him telling me he cant do any weekends, i reply that with an answer like that anyone would think he was married.
He then tells me he is. But seperated in a physical sense ( the old, i dont get any sex lie... and blaters on about how dire his marriage is and how a ' little infedility' is the least of their woes'
Obviously i am no longer going to meet him.
So desperate is he to meet me, he has told me where he works ( director of a huge international company) and pretty much every detail of personnal info, his childrens names and ages etc... to try and convince me he is wonderful.

Upon me telling him i dont think its a good idea, he responded with ' the wife will have no idea as im often away on business, i presume i can stay at yours'
totally neglecting to think i might have any moral objection.
WTAF.

One thing I've noticed is there are a lot of men claiming to have jobs involving weekend/evening work, a far higher proportion than you might expect from a cross section of guys in RL, iyswim.

On the one hand you could think well thats why they're on the sites, cos they're always at work, can't meet anyone etc. however I also suspect a fair few are actually married and that weekend/night work cobblers is just to cover the fact they won't be available then cos they'll be at home with their wives.

thats the subtle ones of course. there's a whole lot more who are entirely blatant and even say they are married or in a LTR in their profiles.

What saddens me as well is that these are not just cliched midlife crisis 50 something guys. I've seen them in their early/mid 30s (one only late 20s!), who have probably only been married for a couple of years in some cases.

To actively go looking for something else, rather than put that same effort into working on what you have seems v :( to me. Possibly that's oversimplistic but still, it does make you horribly cynical about men & life.

i found my ex husbands profile on match.com while we were still together and according to his, he wasnt married (lie) had no kids (lie) wanted an honest women couldnt stand cheaters (he was the one cheating) all this lovely romantic stuff in his about me (not a romantic bone in his body hes got aspergers) working (lies hes disabled and dosent work) online he looks like the most amazing guy, its only a while down the line you find out just what hes like and i feel sorry for the probably lovely lass whos with him now cos he will do the same thing to her as he did to me and his ex who he had kids with and at one point he was upstairs on our marraige bed on his laptop messaging all these women so he didnt give a shi*

it's starting to look as if monogamy is infeasible in the internet age, plenty of website cater exclusively for people looking for affairs...why dont all these pretending to be single men just go on them?

Hey OP, don't be shocked that this guy is a senior businessman. Did you not see all that stuff over the media last Autumn about the number of psychopaths suspected to be business heads? (i.e. no morals, no empathy but can mimic charming behaviour and don't go about killing people) - if you Google it you'll find a lot of articles.

I posted a similar topic quite some time back about net dating. I then went on to one of those no string sites and did a search on married men only and up came hundreds and hundreds of pictures, mostly cock pictures, why these men think this is sexy I have no idea, put me off ever getting married again. I suppose you could say this is democracy, whereas once upon a time it was the aristocracies who had the time for infidelities and the money to hide children born out of marriage - now everyone gets a chance at an affair and society doesn't condemn illegitimate children. Clearly monogomy is a really, really difficult ask for a lot of people