How to catch a cheat?

[SomebodySaveMe]

DP has become very close to a female friend. Not something I'm usually bothered by but he's over there all the time, talked about her a lot but now goes out of his way not to mention her. Last night he said she text him but I had a look on his message log this morning and her thread is the only one that's been deleted.

I don't want to go in all guns blazing before I have any facts so could anyone point me in the right direction of how to access his messages? It's an iPhone. I hate myself for asking but if it is all perfectly innocent I can sleep properly again and if it isn't I can deal with it!

I was looking for a way to get them even if he deletes. I'm guessing they don't save to iCloud though!

It isn't innocent if he's deleting messages and spending too much time with her. Not to say that they are shagging, just that they are discussing things that he doesn't want you to see, so it's not innocent by definition.

Don't go looking for evidence of cheating, rather address this like adults. Tell him that you are concerned about the amount of time they spend together, you feel they are getting closer than is safe, and he should pull back a little for the sake of his relationship. Don't ban him from seeing her, but explain, calmly and reasonably, that this is making you very uncomfortable and anxious and as your husband he needs to take steps to remedy that.

If he refuses - well that is a problem.