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How frustrating! is he just stringing me along or what?

22 replies

RayWinstonesSweatyWilly · 25/01/2012 21:38

Been doing a bit of online dating and tbh have got nowhere fast. I seem to be contacted by 5ft2in men (really, I'm 5ft 10, that aint gonna work!) or nutjobs. One guy I did get talking to I seemed to really click with, we messaged a few times on the chat thing and then he gave me his number and we messaged by text for a bit. He hinted about us meeting a few times but when I responded he changed the subject or just sent a smiley face or whatever. I was getting a bit sick of it to be honest, I mean it's been 3 weeks now of texting etc. So anyway a few days ago he said about us meeting at a pub for a drink. I agreed and asked where would be easier for him (as he doesn't drive, I do). He started changing the subject on to cars etc and why he's not learnt to drive so I said "I'm going to go and make some dinner now, perhaps we can arrange something later tonight?" and he agreed. So all that night I hear nothing from him. All the next day - nothing at all. Tonight he sends me a text asking what I'm upto etc and then conversation ends again with a smiley face!! wtf, does he want to meet me or not??? I feel like I'm being strung along a bit tbh. Should I just come straight out and ask him or should I assume he's simply messing me about and block him? It's so frustrating and confusing. I feel like just asking him what he's playing at but don't want to seem needy/bunny boiler

OP posts:
Sparks1 · 25/01/2012 21:43

Get rid. He's clearly not worth the effort.

PilgrimSoul · 25/01/2012 21:57

He is wasting your time, all that energy texting and second guessing him when you could be back online finding a man who is not a fantacist/married/attached/whatever.

MsLillyBeth · 25/01/2012 22:26

He's a timewaster who, for whatever reason, just wants to chat. If he were serious about meeting he would have already, but he's stringing you along. I'd get rid if I was in your position. You could of course give him an ultimation, saying no more chat/texting unless it's to arrange a date, and the date needs to be ASAP or forget about it, that you're after a date not a "pen pal". Unfortunately there are people who get off on chatting and the fantasy of meeting. He's only "hinted" at meeting...what does he want, a virtual girlfriend?!

AnyFucker · 25/01/2012 22:28

He is married

zookeeper · 25/01/2012 22:31

He's wasting your time - block his number and move on

sternface · 25/01/2012 22:31

Attached and after some telephonic wank fodder I'm afraid....Angry

lovesadirtylie · 25/01/2012 22:32

He's an idiot.
You have better things to do.
Drop him like a hot brick

(ignore him and he'll go away)

ranteetheranter · 25/01/2012 22:33

Agree with anyfucker married but faffing over making the step into actual cheating. Won't be long though. Nice

RayWinstonesSweatyWilly · 25/01/2012 22:46

Crossed my mind he could be married also. Another thing is he never seems to do anything, never any mention of him being at work or being out with friends or anything. It's all a bit odd. Think I'll leave the online dating thing, if I'm meant to meet someone, I'll do it naturally.

OP posts:
sternface · 25/01/2012 22:50

Did you ask him if he was single, or did you (quite understandably) assume?

PilgrimSoul · 25/01/2012 22:51

Don't let one eejit put you off online dating. Do you contact men you like the look/sound of, rather than wait to be contacted?

purpleroses · 25/01/2012 22:53

Sounds a bit odd. Best to leave him.

But online dating can work - met my DP that way, and he's lovely :) Best to meet up early on as you've no idea if you'll click til you do. No point emailing or texting beforehand as you buid up a fantasy of what the other person is like, and they're probably quite different.

lovesadirtylie · 25/01/2012 22:53

doing it 'naturally' has it's advantages, but online dating lets you cast your net very wide, the trick is not to waste time with the ones that should be thrown straight back Grin

ImperialBlether · 25/01/2012 23:48

Why don't you say, "I'm sure I saw you with your wife on Saturday. Do you know that I know her?"

Then refuse to answer any more messages.

zookeeper · 26/01/2012 18:15

Don't give up on online dating! I met my lovely lovely dp online - you just need to be a bit more discerning about your dates and not waste time with nobs. Smile

I met my exdp the "natural" way and he turned out to be beyond awful

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 26/01/2012 18:33

It seems to me he's getting himself all wanked off worked up talking to you and the post-climax loses interest. And then all over again. If you ever reply to him again ask him how can he text with a sticky hand...

solidgoldbrass · 26/01/2012 20:11

Just keep looking. For whatever reason this man doesn't want to meet, but if you enjoy chatting with him on line, there is no reason to put a stop to that: just give up on the idea of meeting him.

Unless you are using a contact service that actually charges fees for messaging, in which case your lovely man doesn't exist and is a construct of half a dozen bored, paid, operators working shifts.

FelicityJane · 26/01/2012 20:21

He is probably incredibly ugly and/or extremely old and/or ... well who knows? Clearly he is playing you along but, the question is, why are you still interested?

Hardgoing · 26/01/2012 20:26

Give up on him straight away, the red flags are not just he can't be arsed to meet you, but that he won't reveal anything about his work/job/home life. He doens't want you to know who he is. Classic married behaviour.

solidgoldbrass · 27/01/2012 10:18

Of course, he may be married. He may also be housebound, severely physically disabled, agoraphobic, ugly or in fucking prison.'He' might even be a woman. But it's up to the OP to decide whether the chats are entertaining enough to keep chatting with the man having accepted that no meeting will ever take place, or if she would rather concentrate on finding someone to date and meet in person. You can have friendships with people that you are never going to meet up with, lots of people do and there's nothing wrong with it.

raggies · 27/01/2012 10:45

Dont give up on online dating. I too met my lovely DP online (on a general chat site rather than a dating site i must admit) 5 years ago and we are getting hitched this April :D

He's the love of my life (and gorgeous) - one thing i would say is that if we had both been on a matchmaking site where you submit interests and hobbies i wouldnt have toched him with a barge-pole!

I digress ...

OP - as has been said - continue to chat if you find him entertaining, but cast your nets back out at the same time.

sternface · 27/01/2012 12:08

Nah, don't be a married twat's wank fodder OP. There is something wrong with that.

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