Newly separated, feeling panicked and alone

[NineStories]

DP asked for a trial separation earlier in the month and I am now living in another flat. Tonight I am feeling particularly panicked because he is out for a work-related drinks thing and not answering his phone. This is the first time this has happened and I'm starting to act completely psycho a little crazy. I am becoming ridiculously more and more frantic...I've called and texted many, many times with no response. Someone please help me stop this cycle of madness! I need some sort of distraction.

Take the battery out of your phone and hide in in a far corner somewhere - drop it down the back of a bookcase, anywhere that is difficult to get to.

You are strong, you can survive this. Take this time apart to work on yourself and work out what you want.

Distractions are good. What works for you- reading, writing, baking, dancing...?

Yup. Step away from the phone.

Can you go out? The gym? A friend's house? Leave your phone at home? Go and put it in the boot of the car until morning?

Run a bath, get in it and think of positive things. Away from the phone.

If he wants a separation then he isn't good enough for you anyway. You are only torturing yourself by texting and ringing him...not that I would be any different I would like to point out.

Have you got a friend or neighbour who you can ring to come round and have a glass of wine with you just to take your mind off things?

Just chat here or is there something on the TV you want to watch? You can do this - you will feel so much stronger if you don't call again tonight.....

Thank you all for your suggestions and advice. For the moment surfing MN seems to be helping.

It's really embarrassing, this behaviour. I seemed to be doing really well until this evening. And now I've gone a bit bunny-boiler!

My STBXH accused me of being a bunny boiler! The truth is that the person who doesn't make the decision to separate has a bit of catching up to do. And until you get there you'll possibly do things that you eventually cringe at. Including begging, pleading, crying etc etc. It's a bereavement of sorts. Keep yourself as busy as possible.
Not sure how useful my advice is; husband only dropped the clanger over Xmas and we're still together until the house sells. Groan.
Take care. Xxx

Oh. Now I just feel stupid. DP called from the work dinner in a total panic himself, incredibly worried about me. He said the magic words "I'm here." And I feel a lot better. I think I just needed to hear that - to have a little reassurance. Separation is difficult. As a wrote earlier, I've been doing well and embracing the time on my own, but I slipped a bit tonight. Getting my head on straight again, though. Thank you again, everyone, for holding my hand tonight.

Oh, separated, I know exactly how you feel - I'm still spending one night a week in the family home to help my DSS (8) make the transition and it's incredibly difficult to be in the space together, but 'separated'. This week's visit left me feeling like maybe it wasn't a good idea to keep going back like that.

Oh no. You've had to leave your stepson. How sad.
Will he let his son visit you?
It's good that you're feeling more positive. But... I felt so low, initially, that I retired to my bed. Husband brought me food and drinks. It didn't help. I couldn't get my head around his feeding me yet not wanting to be with me any longer.
X

yes, DP is 100% committed to facilitating a continued relationship between me and DSS - we're quite close as he lives with us most of the time, only sees his birthmum about 10 days a month.

I hope you're feeling stronger now - and that your house sells ASAP!

How are you feeling today?

Hi separated - thank you for checking in on me! Actually it's so up and down, this being separated business, isn't it? I was fine all day today and then when DP and I spoke on the phone it was like some bizarre trigger went off and all of this anger came out of me. Exhausting. How're things at your house?

Absolutely rubbish.
If you want a laugh read this!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1392874-Am-i-going-mad-or-did-i-do-tje-right-thing