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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sabotaging my marriage...

26 replies

AsSoonAs · 25/01/2012 14:48

OK...H had affair about 9 months ago, which totally destroyed my world and everything I thought about him. I struggled with what to do, but in the end decided to try again as we have DC2 and have a 20 year history, the majority of which was happy. We have been through relationship counselling which ended about 3 months ago and was good for us, BUT since Xmas I have been getting angrier, resentful and bitter. I don't know why now, there has been no further discoveries, no triggers other than the usual (OW - former friend who lives in the next street) which I have had to get used to so don't think that should suddenly start me off again.

It feels to me as if I'm sabotaging my own relationship and I can't stop it. I've told H how I feel and he says he understands and is being v.v patient with me but this just inflames me even more.
I am so angry (internally), I don't know if it's directed at me (for being weak) or him (for being weak). I really don't want my marriage to fail that was the reason I decided to forgive and work at our marriage, so why am I on self-destruct?
I have been lurking around here for some time and reading any "affair" type threads which pop up (sadly alot!), the advice given is really helpful but those of you that have been through this and are giving your advice sound so settled and "back on track", it bothers me that perhaps we are not healing as we should be...
Anyone experience similar and care to share how you dealt with it...
Thanks in advance Grin

OP posts:
MadAboutHotChoc · 30/01/2012 10:17

I would get Shirley Glass's Not Just Friends - it came highly recommended on here when I found out about my H's affair.

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