to be really pissed off with my sister

[HoneyLobster]

My DS has autism. A couple of years ago DH, DS & I went to Disneyworld in Florida with my DSis, her DH & DD. This was our second visit but their first.

As DS has autism and the associated social, emotional and sensory problems that go with it, we got a guest assistance card in the Disney parks which allowed us to use the shorter fastpass queues rather than the regular lines for the rides. Because of DS?s issues this pass is a lifesaver for us and allows him to enjoy the rides and the parks without too much stress, although we can only do 2 or 3 hours at a time in the parks.

I?ve just found out that when my DSis & her family went to Disneyland Paris with my Dbro & his family last year, she went to guest services in the park and said there was ?something wrong? with her DD to get a guest assistance pass to use the shorter lines. My DBro?s DD told me this, she doesn?t know exactly what she said was ?wrong? with her DD as she wasn?t there but my guess is she said she has autism.

AIBU to be really pissed off and disgusted with my sister for doing this?

I feel like it?s a total insult to me and my DS to do something like that. She has no idea how difficult life is every single day for my DS and what we have to deal with. I feel this is one of the scummiest and insulting things she has ever done, and she?s done some corkers in the past, and I?m really struggling to get over it.

I have the added complication of her having a party in a couple of weeks to celebrate a big birthday. I don?t want to go as I don?t think I could be in the same room as her without saying something. We were going thinking about going away for the weekend before we heard about her party and DH says we should just do that anyway. But I don?t want to look like I?m being the funny one by not going but I don?t want to cause a row either.

My parents are celebrating their golden wedding anniversary in a couple of months and we are hosting a family party at our house. I don?t want to fall out with DSis before then as she will just create a drama or not go and I know this will upset my Mum, which I really don?t want to do.

Her decision, right or wrong. Don't let it get you riled up - I am sure you have far better things to think about.

It was a bit of a low trick though.

I think you just have to be the better person here (which you clearly are). What she did was awful, and you're right - it trivialises something that's serious and real and hard and which you have to deal with every day. It is insulting - I absolutely understand where you're coming from.

So judge her, by all means, and if you feel you can without it turning into a major row, sit her down and gently tell her how it's made you feel. But then move on - it sounds like a big showdown is going to make your life considerably harder.

I'm not surprised you feel so infuriated, thats a pretty horrible thing to do. I think karma will deal with this one :)

Thank you for the replies. It helped to write it down and get it off my chest. Also nice to know that others think what she did was wrong too.

Guess I'll just have to try and forget about it and not let it bother me.

She was wrong to do it, and I bet she did feel a bid bad (I hope so). Dont let it get to you, focus on your family and let her get on with it!

Judge her. Judge away.

But this shouldn't be getting you any angrier than "I'll have a word with her next time I have a chance".

Part of me thinks "Good on her", if Disney make it that easy I doubt she's the only one. Morally is it right? Hell no. But I can't help but think I'd be tempted to do the same (I actually do have an autistic spectrum disorder, so I wouldn't be lying reaaalllllly).

My DS is autistic and I would feel exactly the same as you.

How did she manage to get the passes though? When we went to Disneyland Paris I had to show proof of DS's disability, surely people can't just walk in and say there is something 'wrong' (i hate that word in relation to a child) with their child and be handed a pass???

She is setting a very bad example to her child by doing this, as well as showing everyone else she has no morals.

Some places need no proof I took my DS's award letter to Drayton manor and wasn't asked for it.

I'm quite surprised by that dotty - you'd think that it just makes good sense to ask for proof, and like you I take DS's award letter (and aDisabled person's registration card from our local authority) if we go anywhere that I think will require it.

The system is open to abuse if they don't ask people to provide proof. Next too many people will be taking advantage, then they will limit or stop providing the fast passes for those with disabilities, meaning the people who genuinely need them miss out!

Obviously if your DS has done this, it awful and i can understand why you are upset.. but (and this is a big 'but') you've heard this 3rd hand from a child? could this be a case of wrong end of the stick and all that?

by DS i mean DSis!