WOW. I heard s/thing all women 15+ should know today

[Abitwobblynow]

A therapist (PhD, quals galore, many years exp) specialising in addictions, confirming that narcissism and addictions go hand in hand. 'Why? Because it is easier to have a relationship with a substance. A bottle of whisky doesn't have any needs he has to attend to. It is VERY easy for a narcissist to choose addictions over people'.

Then: 'Anything like child sex abuse, or rape - psychopath pretty much 100%. Psycopathy has no acknowledgement of people, so when you come up against a crime that involves sex and power and is fairly clear that there are no grey areas (ie dysfunction is always 50/50) and a significant wrong, you are dealing with a psychopath. Narcissists say 'it's my way or the highway' which indicates the acknowledgement of choice. Psychopaths: its my way'.

This is the second time I have heard this from an expert. Martha Stout also says this, that where there is paedophilia there you will find psycopaths. Funny, that public opinion (throw away the key) is based on a deep instinct.

Please pass this on to all women you know. Remember this information and when you are in a bar, at a party, whatever, retell it, especially to single mothers and our younger girls.

If his past ever involves a rape accusation/conviction or a sex crime, STAY AWAY. Do not get involved. No sob story/misunderstanding/she led me on/its a lie is good enough.

What about telling our sons to avoid WOMEN who are like this

It's not just the men you know!!

So you want us to advise women to stay away from psycopaths? Hardly new or revolutionary advice? Have I missed something?

And why retell it especially to 'single mothers'

Don't they have a brain? How odd

The sort of women who need to be advised to stay away from someone who has a rape conviction are the sort of people who are unlikely to take the advice imo.

'narcissism and addictions go hand in hand. 'Why? Because it is easier to have a relationship with a substance'

Bollocks.

Lots of people who go on to be addicts do so because of traumatic childhoods,abuse,mental health issues and life changing events such as coming out of the armed forces,break down of a relationships or a loss of a loved ones.

The word 'overgeneralising' springs to mind.

Me and my husband are both recovering alcoholics. Neither of us are narcissists, or need to be avoided. We are two people who through no fault of our own are alcoholics, who got sober, work hard on our recovery and and are normal, caring people. As are the many, many friends I have in recovery (both alcoholics and addicts) who have worked hard to overcome the problems in their lives and help others in the same position.

It is not just men that are addicts you know - should I avoid myself?

I find the OP deeply offensive and lacking in any real understanding.

And don't get involved with someone who has a history of sexual offences is hardly revolutionary advice is it? Was this a revelation to you OP?

This cod psychology is very silly - huge generalisations of a complex area of human behaviour. Stay away from psychopaths - exactly - but not rocket science. Addiction as Enid so rightly points out - is such a complicated and diverse thing.

Too many labels scattergunned around.

Very offensive enid,I agree.

There are some men and women who've been wrongly accused of rape, sexual abuse. They are totally innocent!

But I thought that part of the problem with narcs is that they are totally focused on themselves and self centred etc, so they wouldn't know or care if it was easier to have a relationship with a bottle or whatever. It's the poor non-narcissist who's more likely to turn to the bottle-in despair at never being listened to!! They tend to ride roughshod over everyone and everything and are so self absorbed that they naturally (for them) assume everyone will dance to their tune. In my experience, narcs think they have all these wonderful relationships, except for those with "difficult people", ie people who dare to disagree with them.

I speak only from the experience of a having a couple of card carrying narcs in the family. And fwiw my mother, Queen of Narcissism, has never been addicted to anything. Except being right. Hmmm.

Unacceptable on many levels OP.
So only men are capable of child sex abuse?
And your completely misguided warnings go to women only? What have you got against young men?men in general ?

My next door neighbour is a narc.

Totally gormless OP.

Who is the 'therapist' OP?

Where you find any group of people gathered together, you may find psychopaths, sociopaths, and others with various mental health disorders plus ex-cons and criminals of all types.

Perhaps all females over the age of 15 are best advised to stay home alone and mumsnet, OP?

If his past ever involves a rape accusation/conviction or a sex crime, STAY AWAY.

women have been known to make up stories and ruin a man's life you know