Two dates, constant texting, suddenly stopped!

[stopmeddling]

What now. I really like him. We have seen each twice it was great, good laugh, great chemistry.

Background, we were introduced by a mutual friend who I personally have know for years, therefore he "knows a lot about me", when I was younger my life was somewhat "colourful". Anyway bloke I have been seeing texted me to say he was meeting up with mutual friend. Since that meeting I have heard nothing. Mutual friend is a meddler, famed for it and I am bit worried about what may have been said.

So what to do now? I texted last, just a chatty, how is your day text, yesterday morning and have heard nothing back, where we were texting loads daily before that.

Need to just leave it now don't I? Another friend says that if mutual friend HAS been meddling there is nothing I can do and if texting bloke listens to meddling then I am well out of it. What do you think? Think shes right but feel a bit crap anyway.

I am a name changer but this is embarassing so changed for it.

Only one way to find out, phone the guy.

Which one? The Meddler or the bloke I was seeing? Trouble is we don't tend to speak on the phone, its all text and then the dates. If I phoned it would be out of the ordinary and maybe look a bit desperate. The Meddler would just deny anyway.

You are absolutely right. Leave very well alone. If you still haven't heard anything in a few days, then you have two choices: try find out what's up or accept that for whatever reason he has changed his mind and isn't taking this any further.

So give it two days and then maybe a text saying "Hey how are you?" Although to be honest given we were texting ten times a day up until this weekend I think if I havent heard in two days then I already have my answer don't I? Its just crap though, my "colourful" life was less "colourful" than the meddlers and it was over 10 years ago! It seems very unfair to me.

And it wasnt THAT colourful ANYWAY! The Meddler was my best friend at that time so I pretty much told him everything, talk about life coming back to bite you on the arse!

If Meddler has been meddling, and New Bloke has listened, you don't need a twat like him who listens to malicious gossipy stuff. Personally, I'd leave it. Don't chase him.

I'm with Bugsy on this. He may be processing what the meddler has told him and comparing it with what he knows of you through being in your company.

In these situations the truth always emerges and you're best advised to wait and see rather than try to force the issue.

If he's someone who can be easily influenced by meddlers others, you're better off getting shot of him now.

Thank you, thats what my other lovely friend said, that I was well out of it if New Bloke wanted to listen to The Meddler. New Bloke and I even discussed what a Meddler he was as well!

Unless your past involved dating men twice and then cutting them up into tiny pieces and posting them to memebers of their family, I really fail to see what "The Meddler" could have said to put a normal decent bloke off!

Well I dated two other men in The Meddlers circle 10 YEARS AGO! But would also talk to The Meddler about other men I went out with and my relationships and things like that. I suppose I was a bit wild but not in a harmful way, no one was hurt by my actions but The Meddler and New Bloke all still know the same people now. So maybe it just makes things a bit awkward. Also The Meddler would sometimes try it on but I never responded as I didn't fancy him and the friendship was more important. My lovely friend who I discussed it with said he is probably slightly pissed off about that too, although this was all so long ago.

Listen to the lovely friend, she/he speaketh de sense

Leave it now

Oh, and if The Meddler is still within your inner circle, get him out of it sharpish

Are you saying that you had some sex when you were single?

HEAVENS TO BETSEY!

Well, no wonder he's been put off - Good Lord I didn't realise that's what you were talking about!

Shirley that literally made me laugh out loud for ages . Thank you for putting into perspective!

Yes The Meddler needs to be jettisoned sharpish I think.

maybe hes lost his phone

Stone the shagger !

Well we are on the dreaded FB so if he had lost his phone he could let me know that way.

Thing is I KNOW that if the meddler had said anything to me about New Bloke I really would have taken it with a pinch of salt and not allowed it to change my mind so he obviously wasn't that keen anyway or is far too manly to date someone who snogged one of his mates 10 years ago!

Heavens above woman are you 15?

Horses mouth IMO, get any answers from him! This looks ridiculous a WHOLE story about meddling and this mate said this and this mate said that. You will exhaust yourself.

and btw not everyone goes on Face Bollocks daily

Face Bollocks? Any connection with the Fuck Bollocks site, Sir Sugar?

that'll be it izzy

I'm horribly exhausted by it all already!

This dating malarky doesn't get any easier the older you get does it?

I agree stopmeddling. Im in a bit of a similar sitch with a guy Ive been seeing. At one point loads of amusing texting, now stopped. We ve been out a few times, the last time being Sunday. He was nice and affectionate to start with then something changed and he went cold mid evening. We ve texted since but no more arrangements to meet up. I really cannot work out if he likes me or just wants friendship. We ve not been in the position to talk about it so feeling a bit over it all. I like him and I think Ive made it fairly clear. Too nervous to ask him as I dont want to feel rejection. I hate this dating, you have to be so thick skinned and I think Im too jelly for all of this.

a lot of people are put off by learning that their new interest shogged/slept with a number of people they know (or especially their friends), it might not be logical but that's the case. It's not the end neccessarily but maybe he wants to see how he really feels (attracted enough to ignore this or not) which for men means taking some time out/distance. He may come back.

From what you have described you seem quite desirable, so no doubt someone else will be along. So dont bother about this one too much. Dont txt him or phone him, wait for a response from him. The only thing would be if he has lost his phone and genuinely cant use it or has not got your text, but I doubt that. Blokes these days can live without eating but would die without their mobiles/iphones/blackberry etc

Stop bloody texting and have a conversation instead. I really struggle to understand why normal. reasonably sane adults conduct their dialogue through constant texting. Since the advent of texting it has added yet more sources of anguish to an already stressful enough experience of 'does he like me', 'does he want to see me again' etc etc etc It drives me potty the way people go into melt down because they have sent a text and have not had a response within the first second/minute/hour/day/week which then opens up a whole new world of over analysis or reasons as to why said bloke has not responded. I have had this same conversation over and over again with friends who are in the thick of internet dating. Step away from SMS and speak (like in the old days!)