Suspect I am not thinking straight - objective advice please!

[Zwitterion]

As a child DH was abused by his brother. His parents didn't believe DH. (this makes me so sad, and angry).

We see very little of DH's brother but do at Christmas, birthdays etc as part of family events.

I am currently pregnant with DC2 and the more I think about it the more I want to cut DH's brother entirely from our lives. Is this unreasonable? I know when I'm pregnant I tend to become more black and white in my thinking, and become very protective of my family (I remember last time getting upset with a friend for having an affair with a married man, when usually I'm a bit more live and let live).

Would really appreciate some advice on this. How can we do this without upsetting my in laws (who we both have a very good relationship with).

Does he want to cut his brother out of his life?

How do you square

His parents didn't believe DH. (this makes me so sad, and angry).

with

How can we do this without upsetting my in laws (who we both have a very good relationship with)

?

No. He just wants to spend as little time with him as possible.

I know this isn't about me, I just feel so angry at someone who has hurt someone I love.

I know HotDamn as I wrote that I thought how contradictory that was.

Your DH will have to come to his own decision on what he wants to do wrt family members who abused him or failed him, in his own time.

As for you, you might gain some insight and strategies for coping here

Mmmh. And what I was getting at was: why the hell not upset them in defense of your own posiiton? What's the worst that could happen?

I think you need to take your DH's lead in this. If he wants to cut his DB out of to your his life then he is justified in doing so. It's probably a relief for your Dh that you know and believe him.

Talk to your DH about it when he wants to, and be there for him. The rest has to be up to him.

Well HotDAMN we could lose contact with my in laws, which would be sad for our DD.

Thanks for book link, will investigate

Thank you solphadeine yes you're right, I do need to let DH take the lead. I think what I need is someone to talk to/something to read to help me come to terms with what happened to DH and how best to support him.