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Relationships

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Original poster

Husband refuses to pay half of the bills

25 replies

LiarsWife · 19/01/2012 08:17

Found out over the hols that H was having an affair that he's denied all last year and he's been moved out to his mum's (OW is still with her hsuband - although H expecting her to move in with him once he gets a place)

Met him last night to discuss access for our 7 year old DD and finances - he will agree to pay half the mortgage but not half the utilities bill or council tax until the house is sold.

I don't want to have to go to the solicitor with questions as each question costs money and thought that with all the experience on here someone would be in the know?

Do I have a leg to stand on? Can I make him pay half?

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 19/01/2012 08:20

What about child maintenance??

HotDAMNlifeisgood · 19/01/2012 08:24

Seeing a solicitor is worth the money, in this situation.

Original poster

LiarsWife · 19/01/2012 08:30

The solicitor told me not to expect maintenance while he is paying half the mortgage .. but once the house is sold he'll need to pay 4/7 * 15%net income

OP posts:

Original poster

LiarsWife · 19/01/2012 08:31

He is having DD 3 days a week once he gets his 'lovenest' which he keeps refering to as 'a place for DD'

OP posts:

northcountrygirl · 19/01/2012 08:37

That doesn't sound fair at all! The mortgage is servicing his asset. It should be seperate to providing for his child.

northcountrygirl · 19/01/2012 08:39

And why only 4/7ths? Apreciate he'll be providing food on the days he has her but will he also be providing 3/7th of clothes, school dinner money, trips etc?

I'd double check on the csa calculator as doesn't sound fair at all.

fuzzywuzzy · 19/01/2012 08:41

You will get child maintenance anyway as you're no longer together.

Make sure you get child benefit in your account, tax credits & apply to the CSA for child maintenance.

Also if you're now the only adult in your home you will get a discount for your council tax, ring your council up & tell them.

It's spousal maintenance that's dependant on sorting finances out. You will get child maintenance now & it will be based on a percentage of your exs pay.

Original poster

LiarsWife · 19/01/2012 08:44

I get the child benefit .. am not eligible for tax credits and I've applied for the Council tax discount a couple of weeks ago

Apparently the 4/7ths of 15% net inome is the CSAs maintenance amount... If I get that on top of half the mortgage then I can pay the council tax and utilities myself

OP posts:

mumblechum1 · 19/01/2012 08:46

I think you should repost in Legal where there are several solicitors and barristers who'll give you good advice for free.

fuzzywuzzy · 19/01/2012 08:50

I don't understand the last bit.

You should get 15% from the CSA straightaway it shouldn't have anything to do with the financial settlement of your divorce.

ElusiveCamel · 19/01/2012 09:06

OP, do you work? If he has been the sole earner always and you do not have another source of income and are caring for DD at home, then definitely think you need to see solicitor ASAP. If you work then I think it's fair to expect him to pay mortgage and council tax, but not so sure about bills for services he's not using.

northcountrygirl in my experience of 50/50 custody, yes my ex and I split all costs so wouldn't occur to me to ask for child maintenance. If a parent has a child half they time, I would expect that they would be paying equivalently for those things mentioned, but guess those are all details that could vary from family to family.

Original poster

LiarsWife · 19/01/2012 09:14

@mumblechum1 - Thanks! How do I get onto Legal?

OP posts:

northcountrygirl · 19/01/2012 09:14

Maybe it's me that's being unreasonable then. My ex has 2.5/7 days custody but I do get child support from him. I pay for everything for the children but I guess it works out that he's paying more than 50%. I never really thought about it that way before. Maybe he thinks I'm being really grasping...

I get child benefit for them as well but not tax credits.

Original poster

LiarsWife · 19/01/2012 09:15

I do work ElusiveCamel

OP posts:

Original poster

LiarsWife · 19/01/2012 09:25

found the Legal matters thread and posted on there - thanks!!

OP posts:

catherinea1971 · 19/01/2012 09:37

The CSA will take into account that he is still paying half of the mortgage and will adjust his payments accordingly.

I would give them a call and see what they say but do it soon as they can only get you back monies from the date you requested that they open a case for you.
It may be worth firstly though working out how much he would need to pay, ie 15% of his net pay, then look at what he is paying for his half of the mortgage, if he is paying more for his half of the mortgage than he would pay through the CSA it may me better to just wait and let him keep paying.
Hope that all makes sense!

Original poster

LiarsWife · 19/01/2012 10:06

Thanks Catherine .. yes the 4/7th of the 15% is considerable less than half the mortgage

OP posts:

catherinea1971 · 19/01/2012 10:13

You are welcome :)
But he doesn't have them 4/7ths yet does he? You need to look at what the situation is right now, if you have them full time right now he cannot ask for the CSA to adjust what he should pay because he is planning to have them 4 nights per week.
If he won't be having them until the house is sold and 15% of his net is more than what he is paying then I would be getting onto the CSA asap.

Give them a call and discuss it, they can advise you better. :)

Original poster

LiarsWife · 19/01/2012 10:59

He's having her 3/7th - I'm having her 4/7th

He is planning on renting in the meantime

OP posts:

catherinea1971 · 19/01/2012 11:03

BUT he doesn't have his 'lovenest' yet does he?

The CSA will make their assessment on the situation as it is now, not how it will become when he decides to have overnight contact. When the situation changes you just contact them and they will re-assess.

TheCrackFox · 19/01/2012 11:09

I bet you £50 that the OW never leaves her husband.

Contact the CSA and arrange your finances. If his circumstances change again you can rearrange finances with the CSA.

Original poster

LiarsWife · 19/01/2012 12:13

@TheCrackFoxI am not sure whether I hope that she doesn't leave her husband or whether I hope she does!!

PRCK is extremely stressed and so (if this is possible) even grumpier than usual so she's going to get to see his true nature a lot sooner than I did (after we were married!)

When he's got DD 3 nights a week, works 2 nights nightshift he's not going to have much time for his romance

He told me it was boring of an evening watching tv with me but the fact he is going to be skint means that he'll just be sitting on the sofa in a crappy rented place with her instead of sitting in a lovely home on the sofa with me but I'm sure it will be much more exciting!!!

OP posts:

ElusiveCamel · 21/01/2012 20:04

northcountrygirl Oh, I didn't think you were being unreasonable (or grasping!) Every situation is different and I think it needs to be worked out on the individual family set-up and what's fair/right for that family. In some cases, people should be contributing more than half. I just think one can't necessarily assume that fathers wouldn't be paying those other bits and pieces - sometimes they won't be, but they could be.

FabbyChic · 21/01/2012 20:42

He is only obligated to pay half the mortgage he is not obligated to pay anything else and I am amazed you think he should.

You should get maintenance too for your son, but nothing for you.

Sparks1 · 21/01/2012 20:51

For the purposes of the CSA they won't take any contribution to the mortgage into account.

Assuming your daughter is his only child he will pay 15% of his income minus 1/7 for each night he has your daughter overnight.

Further discounts apply if he ends up living with someone and there are children in the household etc...

The first thing i would do is launch that solicitor, awful advice. It's amazing how many of them don't have a clue about CM.

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