New Guy - Should I stop making the effort and see what happens?

[MuckyCarpet]

Been talking to this guy for two weeks. We seem to get on really well although have never actually met. He gave me his mobile number last week, I gave him mine 2 days ago. Yesterday he began texting me from lunch time onwards and seemed really keen. Today didn't hear anything from him so sent him a text about 3pm. We've been texting on and off all day but it's starting to feel a bit like I'm the one keeping conversation going. He's added me to his facebook etc so I'm pretty sure he's genuine (single, does the work he says he does etc) but it seems to be going a bit stale already :( He keeps saying about meeting up but is really vague, says stuff like "we'll discuss it over a drink one day" etc.

Options - do I ask if he fancies meeting up at the weekend when I'm child-free or wait for him to ask me?
- do I stop making the effort and see if he keeps conversation going himself? If someone asked me I'd say it doesn't sound like he's that interested but sometimes in his messages he seems really keen!?

Back off, back off , back off!!!

It's only been a couple of weeks, really try not to think about it too much and just go with the flow

I expect he is keen. I'd just turn your phone off for a couple of days, not go online etc and then when you do you'll know the answer.

I know, I've allowed myself to get a bit obsessed with the poor bloke. I'll just leave him be, see what happens I suppose

It's easy to do. But it's quite cathartic to just switch off all communications for a couple of days.

Obsessing about a guy you haven't even met? What next, boiling bunnies?

Sounds to me as if he's got other love interests irons in the fire and I suggest you cast around for some other fish to fry while he's deciding whether its worth his while meeting up with you 'one day'.

Personally speaking, I'd row him out because someone who blows hot and cold does nothing for my self-esteem and indecisiveness is not a quality I admire.

Up to you. No right answer in my opinion. But. Why shouldn't you ask him out and suggest a day - just the once - otherwise it will seem a bit OTT. I take the view that yes, you don't want to seem over keen or desperate, but if you can't be straightforward with each other what hope is there.

Also agree with Izzy. But if he is a nob who is blowing hot and cold you will soon know either way.

I hate seeing women wasting their precious time and energy on men like this. What's wrong with us?

IME men aren't good at text conversations. Have a few days off then name a time and place for meeting up. If yes, happy days. If no, nothing lost. Don't write off men for being crap texters.

I don't know, last night he did ask if I fancied meeting up there and then for a jog but I had no babysitters. Surely he would have known this so I'm wondering if he asked me on purpose knowing I wouldn't be able to go. Or maybe I'm being paranoid.

Well today I'm not going to contact him at all and we'll see if he's bothered enough to contact me. If not, I'll assume it's a no go.

Did you 'meet' on a dating site? I'd just get on with chatting to other men on the sites - stops you from getting too obsessed with one person whom you've not even met yet.

If he comes up with a definite date that's great. if not - next, please!

You've never met so you won't know how interested either of you are or if there is any chemistry until that has happened.

imho it's important to meet reasonably quickly, otherwise you might be getting excited over something that's just going to be killed stone dead upon meeting and not 'clicking' or worse - being horrified. You'll be amazed what pictures sometimes fail to depict.

I'm not dating at the moment but when I did I would always try to make the first meet quite quickly and just for coffee for half an hour or a max of an hour - with an excuse to get away like meeting a friend so that you don't end up feeling stuck or awkward if it doesn't go as well as hoped

And if it does go well it means you look forward to the next date, a 'proper' date more :)

Hun, dont be disappointed, but from what you have said he probably is not that keen. He probably has seen more photos of you on facebook etc and decided to keep his options open. Dont pursue him like mad, wait till he txts before you reply. Dont show over eagerness.

This texting back and forth is the problem.
Tell him you only text for a week and after that, if you have not met, you move on due to being messed about by serial texters.

ImJustABloke... but if I wanted to go out with someone, I'd make it happen...

If you've made it clear you're keen (ie replied in the affirmative to suggestions of meeting up etc) then maybe he's not all that keen.. If you think you've been vague maybe he's scared of rejection? Who knows, could be true!

Don't contact him again until he does first for a start.. don't keep looking at your phone, it'll do your head in (we've all been there).

When he contacts you, arrange to actually meet up, what harm can it do apart from being a crappy date if you don't get on?

Good luck!

I'd make the weekend offer, if it's not taken up, move on.

Well he text me. I'm confused. Short "how are you?" "good" "what you upto" texts which seemed a little cold but why text me at all if he aint interested??
Last text he sent was just "x" which I took to mean end of conversation so I havn't text him back.

I do know he's busy today so is probably pushed for time. I'm over thinking things I think. I'll give him until weekend and if nothing happens I'll write it off.

Mucky sorry but I think it's already a write off. Like ImJustABloke said, if he wanted to take you out, he would. Seriously, there are thousands of them out there.... NEXT!

How far does he live, does meeting up require serious planning and expenses? No? Then "let's see if we happen to meet up some day" is not a reasonable plan. Next.

Why do you both keep testing one word sentences? 'how are you' 'good' etc?
Tell him if he wants to see you to make a date and stop the stupid texting! You are not 15!