Headaches, not sleeping, fights with DH .... what should I do

[frazzledmumoftwo]

I?d really like some advice.

I?ve been having really bad stress migraine headaches and difficulty sleeping. I?m trying to keep everything going smoothly ? DS 5 and DD 3, my job, getting on OK with DH, keeping the house running smoothly, etc. etc. I went back to work in August, four days a week, and the headaches started about early November.

I?m having regular physio for the headaches, but it doesn?t seem to be working. DH and I are having more rows than normal, and I just don?t want out life to be like this.

DH is nice, good with the kids, and does really thoughtful little things like make me a cup of tea without being asked, etc.. He is definitely what you would call a ?good husband? and I?d never worry about him seeing someone else behind my back, or any of those serious husband issues you might have. But he has very ?set? opinions on how things should be done and can be quite a controlling personality at times. He can tend to be a bit confrontational with people, and I spend quite a lot of effort trying to smooth things over at times. If we have an argument, it is me who gets stressed about making sure we get back on track again. He will just sort of let it be my problem to sort it out. But on other things, he is really good company and fun to be with.

This morning, things came to a head, and we ended up having a massive row just before leaving the house. He disagreed with how I was getting the children ready for the school run (DS?s breakfast club & DD?s nursery), and kept telling me I was rushing them too much and sounding too stressed. I was doing the double school run this morning (we normally do one child each, but this morning he wanted to get to work early), and I was just trying to get them out of the house on time so I wouldn?t be late for my job.

I?m having a couple of nights at my parents? house to try to work out what to do about the whole job vs. headaches vs. not sleeping thing. I actually just can?t cope at the moment ? and I really shocked myself by getting so angry with DH this morning. I just can?t work out if it is just the headaches causing the trouble, or is there a more serious problem between me & DH, or do I just need to give up this job, if it is just not working out. I just can?t think straight.

DH was very keen for me to go back to work, and would be furious if I handed in my notice. But he is also annoyed when I can?t sleep (I usually go into the spare room), and is frustrated that I keep getting these headaches. I?m trying to keep him happy and get everything I need to do done, and I just can?t manage it.

Then followed the most stressful divorce ever ..... finally concluded June 2017.

Well done. I hope the headaches and insomnia are long gone and you and DC have found some peace after it all.

Gosh. My heart aches for you son. So happy that you where able to get out and protect your babies.

These bullies always pull out the stops to continue to abuse and punish you through the divorce process.

What a long painful journey you have had. How are you all coping now?

All much calmer now.

Actually, I've just decided to go to the GPs next week to talk to them about coming off the Anti Depressants I was put on a few years ago, in the worst of the divorce stuff.

I am back in Court with my Ex next week, as he has been failing to pay the Maintenance properly for the last 14 months.

I did laugh at the bit in my original post when I said he would never be unfaithful.

He is still so angry about me leaving, even now over 4 years later. I almost wish he would fine someone new to start a relationship with, to have someone else to distract him, but I don't want to wish that on another girl clearly!

Children are both doing well. DS is now at a special school, which is working a lot better.

DS fell apart completely with the Child Arrangements Order court case. Contact was supervised for over a year, but then switched to unsupervised and multiple overnights very quickly. Daddy had a very expensive law firm and was determined to get 50/50 shared care, regardless of what it took. It was a very bad couple of years, and at times I really wondered if we would have been better to stay put, rather than try to leave.

DS is much better now finally. Both children ended up on Child Protection for a while, AFTER the Final Child Arrangements Order was made. It was all very unusual, and not at all how things usually pan out.