First appointment with solicitor today. Hand holding please!

[CrunchyFrog]

Split with XH in 2009.

Things are sort of on an even keel now, been getting child support for a few months, regular access etc.

I feel like I at least need to know what my next steps are etc. So booked to see solicitor today. (Chosen through the careful process of Knowing Her From The Pub.

I know that if I go ahead, this is going to hurt him all over again though, so not feeling great about that, and feeling a bit worried that it will mess everything up WRT money/ access again.

Argh.

Probably can't afford to get divorced anyway.

Just FYI - no other parties involved, no abuse etc.

Good luck with it. I'd imagine seeing as you've been split for so long it's going to be a relief to get things moving. It's very kind of you to worry about hurting your XH but leaving things hanging isn't going to do either of you any good.

Was he against separating?

stay calm, dont be afraid to ask questions and be upfront about finances costs seem to vary wildly, its a daunting prospect i know ive done it and was a bag of nerves, but solicitors are used to it, i used to take pen and paper in to write down the things i needed to do that mine had asked me, good luck x

He was against separating, yes. Still hoping too I think, the loon!

Solicitor was lovely, have now made a will and have details for mediation, all good! What a relief!

Hello Crunchy. Are there kids involved? When I divorced Exh we did it direct through the courts. He didn't contest it, just filled out the relevant paperwork (its not too complicated) and it cost us £300.00.

crunchy sounds like your heading in the right direction, mediation is good way to go, although apprehensive at first I glad I went

Yes, 3 kids, 8, 6 and 3 years.

It's different in NI - I'll have to attend court, even if he consents. If he doesn't consent, the easiest option is to just wait another 2 and a bit years, I can get a divorce without consent after 5 years.

But mediation will definitely help with things like finances and contact, so happy to do that.