my dh and i have been together for 10 years, we met when i moved just a few doors away from him.
he was single after a marriage break up and i was a lone parent with 2 kids aged 4 and 2.
we didnt move in together for 3 years, then we bought a house on the same estate and married in 1999,i can honestly say that we were blissfully happy, we were comfortably off as i worked full time too and he told me on our wedding day that it was the happiest day of his life.
i broached the subject of us having children together and he said he didnt want any, he was happy as things were, however in june 2000, he changed his mind and i was pregnant a month later.
thats when it all started going down hill, i had a dreadful pregnancy, suffered from hyperemesis, in the first 5 months and then spd, then i was induced and had a difficult birth as ds was 9lb 7 requiring heaps of stitching as i had a 3rd degree tear and then ds stopped breathing and was rushed to special care.
after that i developed pnd and the first year of ds's life was spent in a blur and my marriage suffered, we also sufered finacial setbacks as due to my depression i couldnt return to work as early as id hoped. then just as i was starting to feel good again and things were getting back on track, i fell pregnany again with dd(i had a coil in), and although i didnt suffer with the pregnancy and birth etc, i developed a balance disorder after she was born, a blood clot in the leg, then later a blood clot to the lung, i have gone on to lose 2 babies, one at 16 weeks and one at 23 weeks in oct.
subsequently, my marriage just seems to have fallen apart, i have gained 4 stone since i married dh and i sensed that he didnt really find me attractive.
he starts a new job in a week in wales, which was supposed to be a new start for us as it meant i could go back to being near my family, but i would have to stay here and sell the house.
last night he told me that he didnt think he loved me anymore, just like that, he said he hadnt been happy since ds was born 5 years ago!
he confessed that he had fantasised about slkeeping with my neighbour and said he didnt find me attractive anymore.
he said he has stayed as he loves his kids but cant cope with my balance disorder either and also said that he thinks having children has ruined our marriage.
he said when he goes on saturday, we will be seperated and ive got to fend for myself.
i havent stopped crying all morning from worry(im not sure how i feel about dh), ive got 4 kids, im recovering from pneumonia and hes going and leaving me with no money. i feel very depressed, i cant think straight.
sorry for the really long post.