I hate myself

[chuckieegg2008]

Ok I don't know if this fits in with relationships because most of the posts on here are about relationships with oh, mums,dads etc but for me it's how I feel about myself.

I hate myself :(

Im just a horrible lonely woman. I have no friends, no relationship with my dad, I've never had a real friend. I see people in work going out for lunch together they don't ask me and I don't have the confidence to ask if I can tag along.

Im such a private person I find it difficult to open up, I wish I could just find someone in my life who I could tell everything to, someone who won't judge me,won't use things i say against me, just be a friend :(

I've never had a proper friend - probably because I'm such a bitter two faced fat ugly person why would any one want to be friends with me. I just feel so lonely today keep crying and I couldn't concentrate at work today.

I know people will probably read this and think get a grip u pathetic woman there's people with real problems out there, but I just want to chat and hug.

Bless you...the first step is admitting you have these problems...well done.

I'm happy to chat for a bit chuckie. Have you been to the GP? You sound as if you may have depression.

The next step will be baby steps to solving one problem at a time,like why are you bitter ? and im sure you are not fat and ugly.

I feel the same hun

I too have no friends and I don't work so I just sit at home waiting for my son to finish school and my dp to finish work. Currently 4 months pregnant and I'm so excited but I have no friends to be excited with just family.

Not get a grip at all - a big hug is what you need here >
and and i second the advice about seeing your GP - you don't need to go into too much detail just make an appointment and start with what you said here - they'll do the rest.

Thanks everyone I've been to the gp before but I found it difficult to open up to her, she said I was borderline depression and advised me to read some self help books which are great on a good day but not on a bad day.

Hey I don't have any friends and its not cos Im a bad person, its through circumstances. LIving alone, having no social life.

I've not had a close friend for 8 years.

It isn't you don't be silly.

Then you just need to go back and tell her that.

Katsuma you will meet others at natal classes if you go and they will have their babies around the same time as you, so you can continue to meet up and will have lots in common to talk about. Loads of friendships start this way.

I dont want to be flamed here but do you excercise op ? It really does make you feel better afterwards if you can.

Oh, my goodness me - I'll give you a great big hug! I've felt useless and unwanted too.

You know how everyone on here always goes on about 'counselling' - well there's a reason for that...............it's because it really will make you feel better.

First step - make an appt with your favourite doctor at your practice. then take a deep breath and JUST TELL (him/her) HOW YOU FEEL. I can almost guarantee that they will be amazed at how you view yourself - because they see much different.

As far as your colleagues go - leave it a little while until your counselling/CBT/whatever has made you feel better.

Have another unMN hug!

Donna I agree, exercise is a great boost.

GPs follow a stepped-care model for depression. This means that they will start with things like recommending self-help books but, if these don't work, will step up the treatment to progressively more intensive interventions.

I'd strongly recommend you go back to your GP, say the self-help books aren't enough, you still feel worthless/hopeless/helpless and ask if you can be referred to the local IAPT service for cognitive-behavioural therapy.

In the meantime try to treat yourself with compassion and do some physical exercise most days.

And have a hug. X

chuckieegg, I could have written your post if I'd had the guts to do it.
Well done for doing it.

That explains it, Fabby.

OP - You're just down on yourself. There are always people out there who we can be friends with. You just have to make the effort.

I honestly feel much the same :-(
I hate me too. I have about 3 friends, which may sound good, but they all have lots of other friends too, who I think, in my head, are better than me.
I'm kind. I'm helpful. I listen, I care, but it seems maybe i care too much?
I don't work, so some days I don't speak to another adult!
It's easy for people to say there are people out there who we can be friends with, but how? Especially when you feel so unworthy. AND, if you've no friends, when you do talk to someone, what the hell do you talk about?!
I try to be open and friendly, I do, but there are so many other people who are more pushy than me :-(
Last time I went out with a friend, someone she knows came over, and physically stood in front of me with her back to me and started talking to my friend!!
How rude?
I wouldn't mind but I'm 6ft 2, so hardly ignorable!
Fucking HATE feeling like this, I really do.

It is my humble onion, that the older we get, the fewer people are out there to become friends with because they are so damn busy with their lives.
Most of you are parents. You're busy, right?
I'm child-free, work, am soon retiring forever. Yiphee. (43 years old)
People my age, even in Japan, are busy. Too busy to really care if I am lonely or not. Ergo, I amuse myself. I go on bike rides, I go on more bike rides, I then go on even more bike rides.
I have been out socially three times since April last year. When I am free - and I didn't work but traveled for three years up till last year - my life was full and I was social every single day. Every single day. My FB is full of people I have met on my travels, and we are still in touch. Put yourself out there, if you can, and friendships will spark.
The thing is most folks are busy. Just like you will be busy once your child arrives. It's almost a vicious circle, but it's more about the circumstances you put yourself in, than others not liking you.
Boost your confidence by looking after yourself via what you eat. Do a little exercise.

There are ways of meeting people if you feel up to it. My local sports centre runs a badminton club which anyone can join (or whatever sport you like) and that's a great way to meet people.

Then there are classes at your local college (art. learn a new language, pottery, whatever is your thing).

Also, there are volunteers needed all over the place. Even your local school (once you are CRB checked). If you want part time work, schools are crying out for lunchtime supervisors (about 1 hour a day, term time) and you will meet and get to know the other staff. There really are lots of opportunities right on your doorstep if you look for them.

Bay how's your humble onion doing?

It's brought me to tears, actually.

It's humility is sometimes too much for me.

But it might inherit the earth . . . and put in a good word for you .

My darling, see a counsellor!!! Oh dear!!!

Make a relationship with someone, in a room, where you tell everything to. And NEVER hold back.

I saw my first counselor when I was about 23. I was desperate. I had suhc a terrible background. It was such a relife to tell someone. (Sorry I'm pissed.) I saw such pain in your words, please I beg you find someone to talk to. It'll be alright .

I would like to tell you that I do this for s living and see many women who are so upset and desperate and they can a;lways A:WAYS feel better.

I dont think I can say to yoy wna t I want to say. x x x

You all have friends. It's just that the nature of friendship has changed.
Nowadays, people rarely converse in person, it's often over the internet like this. No-one goes out to the pub for a chat any more - they buy a bottle of wine, sit at home and type stuff on internet forums.
Ultimately though it's not very satisfying.

It certainly sounds like you are depressed, and that would be the first thing to tackle, I think. I second the exercise advice, if you can manage it, even 20 minutes walk can help me when I feel blue. Also, please do not rule out anti-depressants, they have been a godsend to me, although it can take a while to find the right ones, and it can take a while for them to take effect. There are lots of lovely people on Mental Health, as well as here.

I just wanted to say first of all, have a hug and some

Second that you need to be much more loving and kind and gentle with yourself. I'm sure that you would never say mean things to someone else, someone you love and care about, so why is it ok to say those things to yourself? You are important, you matter, and what you say to yourself matters. If someone else followed you round all day saying mean things I'm sure you would tell them to sod off pretty sharpish!

I'm sure you have many lovely qualities, you sound kind and sincere and just a little shy, that's all. It sounds like you need to build your confidence, start focusing on what's great about you. What are your best moments, your achievements, big or small? What good qualities do you have? What are you most proud of?

I would definitely second the idea of seeing a counsellor, you sound as though you need to talk and be heard and I think it could help you enormously.

Take one step at a time, what are your interests? What do you love to do? What would you like to learn? How would you like your life to be?

Hi everyone thank you for all your replies, I feel a bit better today I feel empty inside but I've tried not to think about stuff today, been for a long walk which has helped clear my head. Like some of you have said I'm going to just take things slowly and try and deal with each day as it comes and somehow try and boost my confidence in myself