DP has just walked out......wedding in two weeks

[Surprisebride]

have been together for 12 years, 3 DC.

It is all my fault.

Have suffered with what I thought was depression for my whole life, including childhood. Didn't have the most wonderful upbringing (think stately homes thread). Have tried many different AD's over the years which have actually made me feel worse.

DP has been wonderful, extremely understanding and has put up with a lot (and I really mean a lot) and never really complains. I have absolutely zero confidence and self esteem and struggle to do most everyday tasks, house is always a horrendous mess, very forgetful, always late for everything if I even remember to go at all. Kids are always late for school, I have no idea how I still have a job as I am constantly late myself. have huge procrastination issues. Every so often DP will get to a point where he's had enough and he'll have a massive rant about how shit everything is, the mess the house is in, how it's not fair on the kids to live like this. My grandmother is constantly on at me about being so lazy, late for everything and generally rubbish all round. This absolutely tears me apart. I don't care about myself but it breaks my heart to know that I make everyone around me so desperately unhappy.

I followed a link on here recently from a thread about an MNers forgetful husband to a symptom list for ADD. I literally broke down in tears. Tears of relief that there may be a reason for why I am like this. That I might not be a lazy, useless peice of crap after all. Have yet to get to a doctor to discuss this as it is a nightmar trying to get an appointment.

DP says he is moving out for a few days to see if we can salvage the relationship at all.

What the Hell do I do? He's my world and I love him so much.

I'm sorry you're going through this right now, but it is better to be happening now than two weeks after the wedding date.

It sounds like you both still love each other, which is a good thing. Maybe you need to both sit down and talk about what you expect from the other person and what you are willing to give? Love is more than just about the big grand idea of it, it's about the practical day to day things that make you a well oiled machine when working together, sometimes one partner will lean on the other more and vice versa, but both parties have to be prepared to invest a lot to get to that stage.

If he thinks the house is a mess, what's stopping him from tidying it up?
Why is that your job?

He does loads of housework Lesser, just seems to go back to square one in 5 minutes.

Respect his decision to move out for a few days.Respect his decision to postpone or call off the wedding if he chooses

Make it a priority to see a doctor who has an interest / ability in mental health issues.

Why is he "your world"?

WIshing you a happy outcome

It seems unfair that you now have to deal with three children, the house, and your job, therefore making the situation far worse for you, while he gets to quietly sit in peace and contemplate his future. Perhaps you could suggest that it is you that moves away for a few days/weeks, so that you can concentrate on your issues and ensure you get the help you need, whilst he deals with stuff at home that he obviously finds easier.

I'm sorry this has happened just before the wedding. It may be that he needs to postpone it, but you do sound like you love each other a lot and I'm sure you'll be able to work things out.