DP 'liking' FB sexy picture, big deal or not?

[boobiebrain]

I want to canvass opinions of wise and level-headed mumsnetters.

The other week I logged onto my FB on my iphone. I saw a picture of woman, a provocative pose with a bit of cleavage, that my DP had apparently 'liked'.

I was a bit bothered by it but let it go. A few days later, I saw one of her pics again where my DP was trying to instigate a conversation, nothing sexual just jokey.

I was fine to let it go the first time but now I'm a bit peeved.It sounds so trivial but I have no prior experience of this so don't whether I'm just making a big deal out of nothing.

The woman is someone he went uni with many moons ago. He is 35 and I'm 27, we've been together 4 yrs and have a 3yr old and 7month old.

I guess I'm feeling a bit vunerable, just had a baby, still breastfeeding and we moved away from my friends and family before the baby was born so feel like I don't want to not trust him. Am I over reacting?

Have you explained to your DP that you're feeling fragile and vulnerable right now and it unsettled you a bit when he "liked" the picture and then tried to start a convo with her? My BF has female friends on FB and if he comments on their pics it would only bother me if I was feeling below par myself.

I can see why you are a bit annoyed about your DP "liking" a pic of a woman who is posed provacatively. WRT the conversation, from what you said it sounds like she didn't respond to his attempt to instigate conversation so perhaps there is no interest there from her point of view.

Have you any reason to think that he could be up to anything? If not then it could be that he was just being friendly. I'm still friendly with an ex-bf from 13 years ago. He's married and I'm single but we comment on each others pics and write on each others walls but it's all innocent. Hopefully it's the same with your DP and this woman.

I can understand that. Not sure how I would react - probably innapropriately:(
I hope I'd speak to him, tell him how it made me feel.
x

This would really annoy me - I think it's disrespectful. And it's the kind of thing teenage boys do.

Depends on the context, if the general sense of humour in that group of friends has historically involved flashing/mooning each other (yes, whether they should have grown out of it at 35 is a different story!) then it could be a 'haha, nostalgia' 'like' and not a massive deal. If he's generally pretty conservative/prudish or the woman is an old flame then it's a much bigger deal. And of course the fact that you do feel disrespected, whether or not there's a lot of grounds for it, is a big deal. It just might not have occurred to him yet...