Just not interested in sex

[chocolatemummy]

anyone else feel the same? I am happily married and have a beautiful daughter but I havent slept with my husband for months and before that it was months. I love hime, love cuddling up to him and kissing him and holding his hand when we are out, just have no incling for actual sex at all.He's started doing stuff which is worrying me, but I have to expect it I guess

yes have no sex drive whatsoever. The only times dh and I have had sex since we've been married are when TTC our two boys. Oddly enough we have a great loving relationship, adore each other and don't see ourselves as on the rocks at all. But I know it's not normal. I tend to try not to think about it really.

Are you on the pill?

i am the same too - what 'stuff' is worrying you about dh though?

chocolatemummy

This is not a situation that either of you should put up with because I think at heart you are both unhappy with the situation as it is.

You of course do not have to answer this question but do you yourself know why there is such a lack of intimacy on your part?.

Would you consider seeing your GP in the first instance or a Relate counsellor?. Something has gone wrong here along the line but such problems should be aired with a counsellor. It may well be very difficult for you to talk about this but I would urge you to do so.

Please consider what I have written and don't let this drag on indefinately.

I'm not on the pill, are you chocolatemummy?

I would back up meerkats advice. Have a chat with your GP and consider some advice. Your hormones may be upset (has this been since you had your daughter?).

If your hubby has resorted to looking after himself, don't worry too much. Even a little internet surfing should not be a problem. Just make sure in both cases he clears up after himself!! (especially the computer history files if children have access).

You are happily married and I assume you have a great open relationship. So talk to each other about this, with professional help if you feel necessary.

Message withdrawn

hi chocolatemummy !

Me and my dh went through a long spell of no sex after birth of our first child and he helped himself and at first i didnt mind but then he helped himself every other night and day thanks to internet and adult channels I didnt like it at all in the end and drove me to go to relate as in the end we were having sex 3 times week but it was not enuff and he continued to help himself !!! i threatened to leave him and the helping himself bit stopped completely now very happy and very active ! but dont let it go sort it sooner rather than later.

good luck

Thankyou everyone, I have had this problem before. Before I got married I had two relationships both around three years long and the same thing happened with them. I have never had an orgasm but I do enjoy sex when I do it.I just don't get that feeling that I want to have sex, infact I actually dread cuddling him too close sometimes because he might try and have sex. I went to relate years ago when this happened with another partner. It didn't help me really.
My husband has been surfing the net as you all guessed but what can I say.

I think if you can get up the effor to actually do it you will find that you enjoy it more than you thought you would and that will oveturn the inital reluctance. It seems like such an effort especially if the only chance you get to do it is at the end of a long hard tiring day, but you'd be surprised how much better you will feel if you can rouse yourself enough to make an overture. Might follow my own advice tonight actually, we are hardly Mr and Mrs Rabbit...(am 12 weeks preggers though so KNACKERED)