My relationship with my parents is not easy and after recent incidents (not being intentionally vague but there's so much back-story to everything I can't work out how to explain it all in less than 3 pages) something has to give.
My dad almost certainly wouldn't notice or mind if we cut back - sometimes I wonder how much he'd miss us if he just didn't see us at all. The only impact it might have for him is that if it did register on some level, he could use it as 'ammunition' at a later date.
My mum on the other hand is the other extreme. We have talked every week without fail since I left home (out of duty on my part, there's nearly always a sinking feeling when I think about it). She emails at least few times a week. They live abroad and she is constantly trying to arrange the next visit, makes comments every time we plan to go away if it doesn't involve a visit to them, and every couple of months just invites herself over for increasing periods of time.
So how do I reduce contact without making a big issue of it? Every week she texts me to confirm that they are home and free to talk and always makes a point of 'rearranging' if either of us are unavailable. Increasingly they are using our home as a hotel when in the country - assuming they can stay regardless of whether we are at work during the day or not (again, there are issues going back to when I was growing up here - it makes me incredibly uncomfortable having them in my home when I'm not).
I would love to have a good relationship with my parents, it makes me incredibly sad that it's so difficult, and I don't want to be the sort of person who tells them they have to go and stay in a real hotel when they just happen to need somewhere to stay. But it's always phrased in such a way that I don't know how to say no. Or how to avoid mammoth phone calls EVERY single week.
I'm hoping somebody can talk sense to me because I feel like I'm sinking in it all at the moment. Help 