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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

his relationship

6 replies

morepositive · 11/01/2012 18:25

Hi
I posted this time last year after discovering my partner was having an affair with a collegue, not long after the loss of our son
He made the decision to leave and stay with her. We did try to remain friends but my jealousy has ruined that and he says he no longer wants me in his life which I am devastated about.
They were both made redundant in Nov and she returned to germany, I really felt what had been a workplace relationship would fizzle out, but he has gone to stay with her for a few days and I am finding I can?t seem to manage this.
He still Hs not told our youngest son about her, and on xmas day said he wouldn?t stay for dinner as she can?t stand him having contact with me, but on boxing day he said he was wrong and should not have come in and does not want to stay friend and f---- off to germany
Just feeling really low, relationship must be more serious than I had thought/

OP posts:
ohdearwhatdoidonow · 11/01/2012 18:30

If it wasn't "that serious" were you really contemplating having him back? Sounds like he betrayed you at the most horrific time. He doesn't deserve your care or consideration. I think you probably need some help to let go of him.

Sorry and best wishes x

something2say · 11/01/2012 19:12

Hi more positive, I think the loss of your son and then the loss of your husband must have knocked you for six, because it doesn't like as though you've started grieving either one of those yet. It reads to me that you still think he is your husband and will be coming back.

How has the year apart from him been? That's quite a long time....

AnyFucker · 11/01/2012 19:21

I remember you

I am so sorry you still seem to be hanging on to the chance of him coming back. He isn't coming back. Really he isn't.

SantaIsAnAnagramOfSatan · 11/01/2012 19:25

the relationship was serious enough to leave you and your child for - how much more serious could it get? Sad

it's over.

how are you generally? a year is not long at all.

lazarusb · 11/01/2012 19:54

I think you really need some proper support. I think you went through hell and he doubled that. Let him go. You deserve so much more. He has made his choice and you need to start dealing with that. Stop blaming yourself for being jealous too, who wouldn't be in that situation. Time to get angry and move on.

LadyMedea · 11/01/2012 21:07

This is definitely time for Plan B - www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html - it will keep you sane and is the only thing you can do now.

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