Im in love with my bro in law

[j157]

I think im in love with my brother in law.

Ive been with my fella for nearly 9 years and we have a child together, but things arnt how they used to be.
I would never ever cheat on my fella, but i cant help thinking about his brother. He funny, reliable, honest, he works hard, hes gorgeous... The list is endless. Basically, hes everything my fella is not.
My bloke has turned into a lazy slob. He doesnt work anymore due to a "back injury", but he really has no "go" in him. His priorities are the xbox, and football. He does nothing round the house to help me. Nothing at all.
I was looking at the photo of my BIL and his gf not long ago. He adores her, you can see it, why cant someone look at me like that? Am i really that hideous?
Anyway, i know im probs gonna get a load of abuse. I just need to get my brother in law out of my head.

I think you're in love with the idea of him. He represents everything you think your DP isn't giving you, it's not necessarily HIM you want. Have you told DP that you feel unappreciated, unloved etc? (sorry on phone so can't re-read your post and comment myself!)

It's not your brother in law, he just represents all the things that your DH isn't. You need to either deal with your relationship issues or break up, the bil is a red herring. Good luck.

thanks, i have spoken to DH many of times, but he wont change his ways.
I just fancy the pants off his brother. I feel so ashamed about it, but i cant help it. I need to get him out of my head

Try to think of it as you only fancy your bil because he reminds you of your dp.

I've got two v good looking bils who I admit to having 'fancied' in the past (nothing major, just passing fancies) but this is because the remind me of dh and I clearly go for a type. It's surprising that there aren't more cross-familial crushes out there!

Agree that you fancy your BiL because he's close and because he's like your DH. He IS a red herring.

You would have started to fancy someone else - almost anyone else - by now with your DH behaving like that. Your DH doesn't sound very attractive from your description, I'm afraid. But it sounds as though you do love him. How can you get his attention? (Sorry, not got the answer to that).

Maybe your dh will change his ways if you tell him that if he's not prepared to make an effort to save your marriage, you're filing for divorce.

lol thanks again for the replies. Im 26. The weird thing is that they both look completely different.
I think you guys are right. He's everything DH is not, so thats probably the reason why i like him so much.
BIL makes me smile, he knows how to make me laugh, and praises me, which DH never does.
Im gonna have to have words with my fella again. I doubt it would make a difference, and this sounds so stupid, but i would want to get rid of him, but i dont know how i would manage. Even though i do everything, its him that sorts the money (or lack of it) out, the bills etc. I wouldnt know where to start.

26!!

Too, too young to be stuck with your DH. Sorry, you'll have an affair - if not with BiL then with someone else - and really mess things up if you don't dramatically change things between you and your DH.

Definitely don't try anything with BiL. He's not the love of your life but he could be the worst thing to happen to you.

I don't believe you are OP...just the idea that he acts better and seems better than your current beau...tis a crush

If your dh doesn't work, then presumably you'll actually be financially better off without him too?

He sounds like a loser. But don't shag your bil!

Oh jesus. DTMFA. Far from not being able to "manage" without the dead-weight cocklodger, you will find that you will positively blossom without him dragging you down (after an initial period of readjustment where you will prob need to do some grieving and feel disoriented).

26 - you have a shining life ahead of you. Go grab it!