Is it really bad of me to take the cowards way out here?

[WhoDrankAllThePepsi]

Ok last one on this subject. I had an earlier thread detailing how and why I want to split with current boyfriend and my anguish over the guilt I'm feeling.
Well I'm due to see him Thursday (shopping nothing exciting) so I do have the option of telling him then before the weekend he's so looking forward to. However, I'd much prefer to do it by email I don't mean a "hi, had enough, soz. Pepsi x" type email but a decent, heart felt 'letter' type email about why we're not working out. It would be a hell of a lot easier for me obviously but don't know if it's really cruel or not?
I know I painted him to be a bit of a twat but I honestly don't think he intends to be that way, his social skills are terrible (for example whilst bird watching at the weekend he had us stood there all silent in the middle of the forest because he'd seen some rare bird. A couple of fellow twitchers crept up behind us, all smiles, wondering what we'd seen and DB whispers "trust some fucker to come along now" I was mortified, it was a silent forest, they MUST have heard him. Similar thing happened in the supermarket, an old woman accidently brushed his basket with her trolley and said "oops sorry love" and he tutted and mumbled "just fucking barge into people why don't you".

I honestly think it all stems from his mother. I also think am positive he has aspergers traits. So whilst a few of you told me to just get rid and he's not worth worrying about, he really isn't as bad as I made him sound so I don't want to hurt him.

So, is email a no no? I'm worried I will back out of doing it if I try face to face again.

Look at it like this - you are being unkind to him by NOT dumping him. He deserves the clean break so that he can get on with getting over you and find more friends and someone else. You are wasting his time too - do the kind thing and let him go.

That should get you over your "soft shit" thing - just think about it from his actual needs rather than his wants and you'll be fine. :)

thumbwitch makes a very good point, think of it as it being the best thing to happen for him as well.

I hate doing things like this too OP and it might sound silly but I find it helps practising what you are going to say out loud on your own, then you will feel more comfortable when you're actually saying it tomorrow.

Good luck, you know it's for the best.

I think doing it in a cafe of similar might be better for you, but imo it's cruel to the dumpee as they are being manipulated and then dumped in public. Yes, they can't make a scene but surely they should be allowed time for it to sink in, ask some questions, cry, rant a bit.

In person, in private, in brief.

Have you done it yet? Or are you still shopping? [nosey]

Well I am obviously a twat because I've just found out he signed up to two dating sites last night.
He knows it's coming. And you were all right, he's not bothered about losing "me" he's just bothered about losing the easy social life.
Stupid stupid stupid woman! I really annoy myself.

Well that's good in a way - no more guilt for you:)

How did you find out?

Well, it seems he can't be emotionally honest with you. Hope this makes it easier for you though it's not nice to be betrayed like that. Are you okay? You're not "stupid" - you've been trying to be kind and considerate towards him. We all love and learn. Best of luck for the future.

"live and learn", even, but then "love and learn" is quite appropriate here lol

He is a bit creepy. Well rid. Hope you're OK.

Hey, if you had a friend who was really really nice, you wouldn't hate her for being nice, you'd hate the sneaky buggers who took advantage of her niceness. Be your own best friend.

So have you dumped him then?

I did it via letter once. He ended up stalking me so maybe it was not the right way .

But doing it the wrong way is better than not doing it at all IMO.

I vote for the text option. I can't get my head round meeting someone and telling them face to face. What a waste of an evening (for both).

I'm really sorry to hear that pepsi but you are certainly not a twat, he is. Hope this gives you absolutely no guilt now in telling him where to go once and for all.

Oh well - at least you're free! Enjoy it!

Well that's a bit rude! He could at least have waited until you dumped him! I take it that it became more of a mutual ending of things then? And you are now free?

Five (virtual) quid says he's explaining it away as we speak. And she's buying it.

Just remember, you are better off out of it, cos how he treats other people - in supermarket etc. - is how he will be treating you X years down the line.

And even if he doesn't treat you that way, do you want to spend your life with a man who does treat other people like that?

He doesn't sound nice at all.

Its your Q to get out of the relationship NOW.

Same time next week then?