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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Stuck in a rut

3 replies

forcedinsomnia · 09/01/2012 20:31

DH of 1.5 years has lived in the same smallish village for his whole life (36 years). It is a nice village and most of his family are all settled here. I am in the forces and we have recently had a baby. I am due to go back to work soon and I'm dreading it. I have a great childminder lined up for 3 days a week and a fab MIL for other 2 days. DH will do the morning duty with DS drop off etc as I will be leaving early for 1hr+ commute. The thing I am struggling with is my DH's lack of flexibility. We could get a house at my work and rent our home out which would cover (and more) the mortgage payments, which we could then save up to buy a bigger/better house in 3 years time when I leave the forces. Basically I want to know if you think it's too much to ask for him to move with me, so he does the commute, i can do more and see more of DS during week and we can then put some money aside for our future?!

OP posts:
forcedinsomnia · 09/01/2012 20:33

Sorry that was longer than I anticipated. Should I keep whittling at him?! Or should I lie in the bed we've made together?! IYSWIM.Grin

OP posts:
mike1May · 09/01/2012 20:55

You're not asking too much at all. You're not being selfish, it's about making things better for you all.
I'm sure (? well maybe) you've sat down and discussed your future, where you'd both like to be in 20 years, how you'd both like to live out your years abroad amongst olive groves etc. This can be part of the puzzle. Go for it and good luck.

forcedinsomnia · 09/01/2012 21:08

Thank you for your response mike. We have discussed it and we both want to move to a bigger house eventually. And would like settle close to where we are now.....not necessarily in this village though. My parents are here too so it does work for us both, long term. But unless we are able to save a little our dream isn't possible anytime soon! Sad We own another property which is rented but unable to make much profit on rent for that at the moment. Just trying to work things out. I do keep telling myself I knew what DH was like when I married him (and still love hum obvs) etc....so AIBU to moan now 4 years/marriage and 1DC in?!

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