Should I tell him I like him more than I friend?

[missyp284]

I've started to develop feelings for a friend and I don't know if I should ignore them or not.
I've known him for about a year and we've always got on well. He was married though so I never thought of him as anything other than a mate, he was off limits so my brain didn't go there. I should add that I'm single.
About 2 months ago he split with his wife. Then at the beginning of December I broke my wrist. He's been in touch, checking to see how I am and to see me a couple of times and taken me out for drinks.
During this time I've realised that I like him. A lot. But I have no idea if he feels the same.
I'm not very good at opening up so I don't know if I should say anything, or just ignore how I'm feeling.

There is a complication to the story, we work together as well. So it could be awkward if I were to tell him and he didn't feel the same. I've been off work while my wrist has been broken and am due to go back next Monday.

Can anyone offer me any words of wisdom?

I'd say let it go for now. The situation is very very complicated what with the fact that he is (I assume) still married and the fact that you work together. Play it cool for the time being, let him sort himself out at home and once you're sure everything is well and truly over with his wife then it might be time to make a move. Only do it though if you're willing to have it all backfire and face the consequences.

What CaillinDiana said.

Thanks for the replies. I have no worries with regards to his wife, they're definitley over. I know that for sure.
It's more the work thing that I'm worried about. And of course the fact that he might run for the hills

" I have no worries with regards to his wife, they're definitley over. I know that for sure."

hmm..are you really sure their marriage is over? did she tell? or he did?

I wouldn't rush in no relationship with someone who seperated just 2 months age and is still married!

sorry for so many typos as I write it from my phone..aaarh

Men don't understand why ladies feel the need to make the big pronouncement.
If you tell him you feel for him, what will change? Will you start going out for drinks? Will he come to see you if you're poorly? Will you sometimes go out for lunch together during work? This all happens now! You're dating and don't even know it! Just snog the bloke and get on with it.

I've got another point of view. I've known someone for most of my life although no contact until the last couple of years. He was married although unhappily - he said. We both had a strong attraction but did not act on this and our contact tailed off - mostly because I'm single and I knew I was developing feelings for him. Anyway, few month's ago, text out of the blue, they had separated. We started a fling almost immediately which was loving and passionate but it was all wrong. I think he just wanted a bit of comfort about his broken relationship and he is emotionally unavailable. So, I've gone cold because I don't want my heart-broken and he seems to be fine with not hearing anything from me.

Be wary of the newly separated - most of them want to enjoy their new found freedom. It's difficult to generalise, i know, but this is my story. (One of them anyway!) Just tread carefully is my advice.

^^
Correct

I've only heard it from him, but I've been to his place and all of her stuff has been moved out. Not just clothes, but household items as well. He's told everyone at work that they're separated and are taking steps to divorce. So I have no reason to doubt him. But, I agree, it is early days.

lol Mike, I'm guessing you're a bloke (you can never assume from a username on here) but I love the simplicity of you're thinking. I wish it was as easy as just snogging him. But, being a woman, it's never that simple....gah!!!!!

Sorry it didn't work out for you itsxmascryingagain. Thats definatley given me some food for thought though.

We're off to the cinema tomorrow night. Part of me thinks I should just stop seeing him outside of work, but then I lose his friendship.

Yes Missy, To the disappointment of many on here I do have a Y chromosome!

In general I think it's a good thing to be clear how you feel about people - it can help if you really like someone, even when it's unreciprocated, because then you know you have to get over it.

However I do think the two months out of the relationship thing is a worry. How could he be even close to being ready for a relationship?

I think I would consider lightly saying that you think you shouldn't hang out too much at the moment because you're at risk of falling for him. His reaction should help you out there (you never know, maybe he'll return the feeling, but maybe he won't).

It's unlikely to work out as a massive rebound, but if you know each other well and get along, maybe it could work out if he was ready for it! In which case you need to give him space and time to get over his breakup. Or if he's definitely not keen, you probably will need a bit of time to get over him and see him as just a friend.

Not sure if that makes sense now but it did in my head.

It would be complicated as has been said. I entered a brief fling two months into my own separation with someone I worked with. It didnt end well, partly because he saw me coming and partly because I was rebounding. Despite that he is now my boss and I am one step underneath him on the employment ladder as such. Its uncomfortable at the best of times. If I were you I would look elsewhere.

I know this is a generalisation but I dont think a bloke would come round and see you, take you out for drinks and take you to the cinema if he wasnt interested in you sexually. All this has happened since he's become single so it doesnt take much of a leap to think that he fancies you. Agree with Mike, sounds like you are dating already tbh
Would be a bit wary of a rebound relationship though