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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New man "lied" but is it a big deal?

28 replies

CandyClouds · 09/01/2012 17:08

Recently became involved with someone. I asked what he did for a living when we first met and he said he was a nurse but never elaborated on it (and I never asked for further details). Few weeks have passed, the relationship has moved on somewhat and I now find out he's actually a student nurse at university (he never told me this, found out through facebook). He says he never lied, just it was "easier" to say nurse rather than say he was a student.
My last partner was a terrible liar and I swore I'd never put up with it again. Am I being unfair? was it a lie or just a variation of the truth? Is it the same thing? What would you think?

OP posts:
FionaBruise · 10/01/2012 17:02

me and dh told a few porkie pies when we were internet dating...
e.g. I ticked a graduate box when i wasn't one at the time, and he spoke as if his parents were alive. both lies sound a bit mental now objectively, but there was reason for each of us in our lying and we laugh about it now.

I can definitely see why you might be amber flagging it though. In the early stages of dating I've been hyper-alert to anomalies or lies too, but I think that I'd give him the benefit of the doubt on this one unless there is anything else that is making you feel no about him. Could you have a laugh about it with him and see what his reaction is?

mathanxiety · 10/01/2012 17:36

He lied when there was absolutely no need to and now says it wasn't a lie, just something easier to say?

A red flag in my book.

How are you?/ Fine thanks - is just rhubarb.
What do you do? / I'm a nurse - is a lie.

Why did he think a lie was necessary? Why did he think a lie as big as this wouldn't be found out?

susiedaisy · 10/01/2012 19:52

I work in the Nhs and would never dream of presenting myself as one thing when in fact I am another, it's a big no no in my work area, the only thing I can think is that he's nearly qualified or waiting for his pin number to come through? But having been married to someone who told me alot of crap I tend to be a bit Hmm at someone who does this!

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