ex's on fb

[rosegardens]

Is it fair on the other half to have ex partners on fb as " friends " ?
They can see everything that's posted between current partners which could ve conflicting maybe for the ex and vice versa? I personally cannot see any reason why my partner should have their ex on their profile whatsoever as they are an ex for a reason and have nothing to do with their current life?

Am i right to be potentially suspicious about whatever they will comment or message together privately? Despite the fact my relationship is 3 years on now and then the ex suddenly appears as a friend all of a sudden, I cannot help wondering why this has to be or why this has happened!

Views please

It all depends on the relationship of the ex.

For example DP has the mother of his child on fb and that is perfectly fine as they are friends and are still a part of each others lives.

As for an old ex randomly adding him after a long time I personally would wonder why but I don't know how I would feel about it.

What has your DP said?

I'm sure FB privacy can be set so posts between whoever and whoever can't be seen? Eitherway, a lot of people are on friendly terms with ex's. Personally I wouldn't find it problematic. It's not as if anyone has a right to dictate who their OH's have as "friends" etc? Unless there's trust issues already.

I'm thinkin along the lines of the " ex " seeing everything me and my partner talk about between us on fb!

Wonder what my partner would think if I added my ex all of a sudden?

I've not brought this up with my partner just yet but only noticed it yesterday!

I'm very uncomfortable with it as me and the mentioned do not get on at all!

If you dont want someone to see what you discuss, I'd say dont put it on Facebook then.

I have two. They both contacted me. We message privately from time to time - have even met up. I don't see the problem unless you have other reasons to be suspicious.

Shakey, thanks, but what's the actual point of adding an ex in first place? It seems if its set like you say then there is cause for concern in a curious and wonder level as in what are they saying to eachother?? For me,its no point adding an ex at all who has no friendship or connection even if kids are involved the " ex 's " dont need to be friends in fb tho?

Because they had lots in common once? Because they know each other, have some sort of connection, albeit previously? And I'm still sure you can block someone seeing whatever you post.

Anyhow, have you asked him why?

If you feel uncomfortable you need to talk to your DP. If you don't get along then I can see why you don't want her seeing your posts to each other.

I don't think this is a trust issue I think it's more about letting someone from a past life into OP's present life. If they don't get on then it is an awkward situation.

I have several. I don't really see that they are any different from old school friends. I am interested to see what they are up to these days but that's all.

Ah just seen you only noticed it yesterday. Eitherway, ask him, see what he says. Are you friends with him on Fb and that's how you noticed etc?

FWIW, it still wouldn't bother me.

I have 3 exes on FB, what's weird about that? Actually I consider it a bit of a red flag if people aren't on friendly terms with most of their previous partners.

What kind of communication will she see between you? Surely just you commenting on his posts, hardly private.

"I'm thinkin along the lines of the " ex " seeing everything me and my partner talk about between us on fb!" - but you do realise all your other FB friends can see that as well, don't you? Do you think they need to see that? If you don't want people to see stuff, don't put it on a social network - text the guy, or speak to him. Having an Ex on FB isn't a big deal.

Why do you talk to your partner on FB I cannot understand that at all. Don't you live with him?

I'm good friends with some of my ex's and I've always been open and honest with DH about that. I am in regular contact with one who moved to a foreign country on FB as it's a good way to keep in touch as friends. Just because our future wasn't together doesn't mean we can't have a good relationship as friends - we are now both married to other people and have moved on with our lives. I think as long as you are open and honest about friendships with your current partner it shouldn't be an issue.
I am the same with my DH's ex's although he seems to have burned more bridges over the years, although weirdly I'm now friends with one of his ex's due to a fluke of coincidence (he's a little uncomfortable about this as their relationship did not end well)