I do not like my mother at all

[Howsad]

This is quite a strange one Im sure as it goes against the grain, but I cannot stand my Mother and if I never had to hear from her again that would suit me fine. I look at other mothers and daughters and think how lovely it must be to have that relationship but I cant bear the sight of mine

That old addage is true, howsad

"You can choose your friends, but you can;t choose your family"

I was like that until I got married and moved away. Things changed rapidly, and then 8 months later she died.

I miss her like crazy now, and wish i could just phone her up and have a chat.

sorry you feel this way.

Message withdrawn

i have often thought about how I might feel when she is no longer around and I still cannot bring myself to like her or want to spend time with her.

oooh ,we all turn into our mothers eventually!!

oh ggirl - that would be my worst nightmare - I aleady look like her sometimes, the older I get the more I will look like her.

Why do you dislike her so much HowSad?

I felt like this about my Mum too. It was about 12 years ago now. I didn't live nearby so didn't see her much and hardly spoke to her for almost a year. I was going through a really tough time and she just wasn't there for me on any level. Eventually she twigged that something was wrong and started to make an effort. It took a while but we do get on quite well now. We accept each other's limitations and my expectations of her are more realistic. Having said that, she does still drive me nuts sometimes!

I dislike her so much because she is dishonest and deceitful. Over the years she has promised to change her ways but never does.

Well I find mine really irritating in lots of ways...which makes me feel guilty. Tbh we have very little in common and very different personality types. But I do love her.
I think I'm a bit of a disappointment to her in that I'm not the sort to ring daily and engage in the smallest of small talk, which is what she'd like. Our latest chat on the phone (we live far apart) was instigated by her:
"Hello. I was just wondering how you all are since it's been a while (sigh) since I heard from you..."
"Oh we're fine thanks. No news really. I'm just trying..."
...actually to get toddler into bath, check up on lack of progress of ds1 and ds2's homework, sort out dd's missing swimming kit needed for the morning. IT'S 6.30PM YOU KNOW I'LL BE BUSY NOW UNTIL GONE 8PM.
Of course I don't say that, I just let her interrupt me to ramble on pointlessly about how cuddly some stranger's dog looked on the high street, and to ask me AGAIN several times if the Christmas presents were OK (yes I know the children haven't written yet..but we did phone).When she starts in to telling me that Mavis bought a new cashmere scarf in a lovely blue from the seconds shop "but you wouldn't know there was anything wrong with it" I scream inwardly with impatience, thus ending up feeling like a real cow for the rest of the evening.

I love my mum but can't stand to be around her! I have lived miles away from home (i.e. at least 2 hours drive (now living in Guernsey, 45 min flight but expensive to get here at short notice so I know way in advance and can prepare!)) since I was 18, I go back to visit and she visits me and I am excited to see her but after 3 or 4 days I start looking forward to departure day!!

We are both happier and get on better at a distance, talk on the phone once a week and it's plenty for both of us!

I think our problem is that we are so similar, I find myself saying things to the kids that she said to me when I was a child and swore blind I would never say!!

That said, I would miss her desperately if (god forbid!) anything happened to her.