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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

want to leave but he's saying he will kill himself

38 replies

mamaLou13 · 07/01/2012 06:50

i have made my decision after year of deliberating i have had enough i want to leave dh, it's not fair forr dd to see us argue all the time etc many reasons but he says he will kill himself if i do as he can't live without me and his dd (16 months btw) we are his life. he will obviously see her but that doesnt seem good enough. what do i do? i couldn't live with myself if he did it?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 07/01/2012 20:05

MamaLou, all of your last post was caretaker language. All that stuff you are thinking about is his welfare and in this instance his welfare is the opposite of yours and your DD's.

He is a grownup and will shift for himself. Make plans for you and the baby and go ahead with them. Between him and his mum and whatever friends he has he will be fixed up in no time. I really recommend you get in touch with Women's Aid 0808 2000 247; go to your GP too and see what other resources are available and talk about the suicide threat if it has spooked you. Your GP will be able to reassure you and maybe provide a referral to counselling for you.

You don't need his permission to take half of the joint account. Simply withdraw it and take your name off the account. Open another account just in your name. Go to the bank. It will take you probably 20 minutes.

Do you not see the irony of him heaping guilt upon you for leaving your DD without a permanent father at home and at the same time threatening to top himself? Where would that leave his DD? He doesn't care about the DD. He just wants the relationship on his terms. He is refusing to 'let' you go because he will lose face if you up sticks and leave. It's all about his fragile ego and nothing to do with the relationship, with the DD, or your happiness.

You do not need his permission or co-operation to leave. You are not obliged to sort out his living situation for him before you go.

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 07/01/2012 20:41

Got to agree with math .... He is all talk and there will be no action, ie killing himself

FamilyCircus · 08/01/2012 06:10

"How about you tell him that you'll kill yourself if you DON'T separate?"

Annie, thank you. I'm not the OP, but thank you anyway.

Mama, I'm in the same situation as you, but this has been going on for years and years and years. DP has made me feel completely responsible for his health and happiness and he thinks that is fair. If I try to discuss my health and happiness he cries and promises things he can't/won't do. I am pretty much resigned to this for the rest of my life. It is easier to live with DP than to put up with this shit when I rock the boat.

Nobody knows if the suicide talk is genuine despair or just emotional blackmail. He probably doesn't even know himself. All he needs to know is that it's working. I used to have a friend that kept threatening suicide and I felt I had to drop everything each time to talk her round. A very wise person said to me that if she did go ahead and harm herself it wouldn't be because I had failed her, but because she couldn't cope with life. And that's very sad but ultimately up to the individual to deal with. Incidentally this wise woman's husband had made the threat and subsequently carried it out, so she was speaking from personal experience. I don't know why I didn't think of her advice when DP was making these threats.

Keep up the momentum. If you go back then you are reinforcing his belief that these methods work.

As for him not having anywhere to live, can he not rent a flat or a room?

mathanxiety · 08/01/2012 06:25

Thing is, it doesn't matter what he does. He is a grown up. He can find a place for himself. It's not up to MamaLou to worry about where he ends up living.

My exH threatened suicide and has ever since (no, he didn't do it as it turned out) blamed me for 'driving him to the brink of suicide'. So it worked out nicely for him. Scared me to death and had me up for nights 'sleeping' on the upstairs landing in case he decided to do away with the DCs while he was at it, and then afterwards, having set me up, had a convenient persecutor to blame.

Another night, a few months after that particular crisis that he manufactured, he called three separate suicide hotlines and after he clocked the third call they alerted the local station as they all communicate and flag calls. The police arrived and told me that any mention of suicide means a spouse/friend/partner can just call the police or an ambulance and they will take the problem off your hands. The police should advertise their services more. They are great imo.

FamilyCircus · 08/01/2012 06:44

I didn't know that about the police math, although I have called them for a suicidal friend before and they were really good. I didn't even know the friends address, just a vague idea of her location and her name. They tracked her down from that on a Saturday night when I'm sure they had crimes to be dealing with.

You're right, it's not mamalou's concern where her DH lives after he leaves. I don't know her housing circumstances but when I was where she is now I was sole tenant for my flat and DP had no right to be there. It didn't help me to emotionally disconnect from his learned helplessness though and I went to the estate agent with him and gave the better half of our furniture to make him feel at home. I bought him a new computer to stop him taking mine and gave him money to entertain DS. He was working full time, with very few outgoings and I was on benefits yet he didn't give me a penny for DS, and STILL I felt responsible for his welfare.

How the hell did you detach from your ex math? I totally get your fears about him harming your DC, especially after there being so many men recently that have done this. DP was put on anti-depressants recently but stopped taking them because they gave him visions of cutting mine and DS's throats. I don't know if that was a veiled threat or the truth or what. I don't believe he would harm us but I can't see him ever getting on with his life without us, which is strange considering how bloody miserable he appears to be.

Mamalou, I'll keep watching this.

mathanxiety · 08/01/2012 07:28

I honestly found myself thinking, as Sarah did upthread, 'Well why don't you just get on with it'. I think the suicide talk had the effect of alienating me from him in a really profound way. I'm not proud of being so cold towards someone who on the face of it was experiencing serious distress, but there was a part of me that didn't believe a word of it and I could therefore see the whole situation as if from a great height, very distanced from it and from him. The little voice in my head said, 'Just take care of yourself and the DCs, don't fall over from exhaustion and end up looking like the one who isn't coping, don't get sucked into this new drama.' I saw it as yet another drama starring exH, one in a long line of crises he had manufactured throughout our lives together. He loved chaos.

Plus he was a nasty, mean and creepy man and had been for years. As well as that, after a few discoveries on the computer I felt I had been living with a complete stranger and that he had used me since we had started dating.

The time exH had told me he was contemplating suicide he had finally agreed to check himself in to the psych ward of the nearest hospital, but after he was released he decided to stop taking the ADs as he said he was feeling fine. His parents had descended on the hosp as soon as they got the news, and camped in the visitors' room leaving me at home with the DCs who had all been woken in the night by exH walking around the house leaving the lights on. I hadn't slept for about a week. DD1 had found a steak knife stuck in my pillow and had panicked thinking he had killed me until we bumped into each other... He really put us all through a lot. exH's parents offered me no help but instead sat there preventing exH from taking part in the therapeutic group work he was supposed to be doing, deep in denial that their son had any MH problems, and in every way suggesting to him that he didn't belong there and there was nothing wrong with him. And then he just blithely took himself off the ADs, supported by his silly parents (his dad was a doctor but thought psychiatrists were all quacks). exMIL told me later that there was nothing wring with exH but a bad marriage. All my fault in other words.

The worst part of the hospital experience was the discharge interview, which was conducted by a psych nurse. I was present but exFIL muscled his way in and between the hopping and the trotting I missed the part where I was allegedly told I had a right to discuss exH's case with his doctor only up to three months from the date of discharge. exFIL pocketed all the paperwork and I never saw it. I have no recollection of any instructions about how I could talk with exH's psychiatrist, and clearly remember everything else about that interview, especially how exFIL made a real nuisance of himself, challenging the psych nurse in his patented "I'm the doctor" manner and getting him quite flustered. He challenged me when I dug in my heels and refused to have exH discharged directly home (said "You can't throw a man out of his home!". I just didn't want to have to deal with him for a few more nights. I wasn't throwing him out of his home fgs. It still makes me angry just thinking of it. exFIL could be a right old bully). The upshot was that I never talked to the psychiatrist except one time when exH was being admitted and they phoned me to get details and observations from me. If you are able to talk with your H's psychiatrist, do. I got no support and having absolutely no experience, had no idea who to even ask for it.

cestlavielife · 08/01/2012 14:14

"I can't see him ever getting on with his life without us, which is strange considering how bloody miserable he appears to be.
"

see that isthe thing - they will be miserable with you ("you drive me to suicide/anger/violence/stress") and miserable without you "it will drive me to suicide"

so accept you cant win and detach. leave them to it but without benig dragged down in the process

it takes time to apprecaite the freedom without them - tho of course they will continue to get at you via trying to see DC etcetc

fuzzpig · 08/01/2012 14:21

My DH wasted years with somebody who did this, please don't make the same mistake.

FamilyCircus · 10/01/2012 03:39

Math, that's an awful experience. I can understand you thinking "well, go ahead then" in those circumstances.

I feel very confused about what I want at the moment. I think I would just like to have some time to myself to work things out. I wish he had hobbies or friends or did something outside of the home. Since he has been retired we are together all the time and I feel controlled and suffocated. He isn't a bad person, there's nothing to hate about him. It's me that has changed since we got together and it doesn't feel fair that I get to choose and his life has to change as well. But then again it isn't fair that I have to continue to live a life I don't want.

Sorry Mama, please come back and talk though your situation. I'm really interested in how you deal with your DH's threats and hope you make the decision that has your best interests at heart.

GypsyMoth · 10/01/2012 07:34

I had an ex who threatened this. I was terrified he would try and take dc with him as he had hinted at it and a high profile case had been in the media, so he fed on my fear

It wasn't 'depression'

He was just a nasty controlling idiot

So i left, took the dc and told him that as he had threatened suicide, I certainly didn't want the dc to see it, so we had gone

How can you let these men have any unsupervised contact after threats if suicide? You can't be sure, ever, that the dc won't be taken

Diggs · 10/01/2012 11:57

Like Math , ive heard this shit a thousand times , and yes , it works . For a time . It was regularly screamed at me , and worse , in front of my small children who would cry and cling onto his legs to try to prevent him leaving the house .

Emotional abuse at its very worse , and a very good reason to leave .

I often thought about ringing the police but felt guilty , embarressed for him , and didnt want to feed the drama . The last time it was said , i phoned his parents , his freinds , his boss at work and informed everyone that he was threatening suicide . He never did it again .

You need to go public on this , inform his parents , the gp . He will be embarressed enough to stop .

droves · 10/01/2012 12:30

Hes not your responsibility.
IF he threatens suicide again , tell him you really dont care , but if he is going to do it , it would save you the hassle and expense of a divorce.

ALSO since suicide is actually a crime , he could be charged if he tries it and fails.

Harsh ? Yes , but if he genuinelly wanted to commit suicide he would be giving his stuff away and not making future plans. It would not be dependent on whether you stayed with him or not.

You could always phone his doctor and tell . Get the fucker sectioned .

And im saying this as a person who was depressed to such a bad state i did try to commit suicide. ....

Bucharest · 10/01/2012 12:37

Mathanxiety (and others) speak eloquently.

He won't do it. And if he really was going to,then chances are, he wouldn't be telling you, he'd just go and do it.

But he will keep threatening to, to bully you and make you take the blame for his problems, and to keep controlling you.

Sending you (and the others in your situation) strength.

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