Need urgent help/advice please!

[sillymummy2]

Long story so i'd cut it short. I'm due to give birth to baby no.2 in 2 months time. My partner who i've been with for many years, is the father and we also have a 4 year old. Last year, i had an affair and since then, me and my partner have been attending counselling sessions. I have been living at my parents house with our 4 year old since. The problem is there is not enough room for when the baby arrives and my son is no longer happy to be living where we are. My partner somedays, wants us to go back home and somedays don't, we are struggling as a couple therefore i thought it's best not to move back yet as i don't want it to affect our son. We have discussed about me and the kids living elsewhere while we work things out and if it doesn't work out, the kids would be settled into a new place already should we split. I've been on the council waiting list and have bidded once, in which i was in a queue of over 1,000 people! Our home is my partners, i only paid some bills while we lived together as i don't earn much. Renting privately, i don't have the money for rent in advance and deposit and would also need help with housing benefit. All the agents i have spoken to, would need a guarantor, in which my partner refused to do and i don't have anyone else. Could anyone give me some advice? I really need to put things right now but i'm helpless. I know all this was my fault and in hindsight, would not have done it but it's a long story and until the story is known, i shouldn't be judged.

Can you save for a deposit and rent privately then claim HB. Tbh I don't really blame him for not being guarantor when he
Is paying for his house too

Would your parents not act as guarantor instead? If you are living with them now, would they not help you to get a place of your own?

tbh, I think you are going to have to find a way to get your own place. It sounds like there is a lot of work to be done on this relationship before it would be wise to even try to move back in together. He's clearly not able to forgive at the moment. Perhaps in time, he will.

Your parents could also evict you from their home. That would make you a priority for housing. That's not to say that you would get a 3 bed house! You might end up in temp accom, but needs must and it's in the right direction. Or they might have something for you. But, like I say, you would need a letter from your parents giving you an eviction date.

I hope your partner is paying adequate support for his child. Regardless the situation or how angry he is with you, this should not affect his duty to his child and I hope it is not doing.

Perhaps you would benefit from advice from the CAB, from Shelter and from other organisations like that. You need to sort out the practicalities first, deal with this relationship later. It doesn't sound like something that is going to be sorted any time soon, unfortunately.

There is obviously a high demand for council properties but, as you are on your local authority's waiting list, you can be nominated to local housing associations and I suggest you make contact with some of these organisations to enquire as to the length of their waiting lists.

Alternatively, as Hecate has said, if your parents' declare that you are unable to remain in their home and you become homeless your local authority has a statutory duty to provide housing for you and your dc.

However, this will most probably take the form of temporary accomodation pending an offer of permanent housing at some point in the future which may not materalise for some considerable time.

It seems odd that you have chosen to bring another child into an uncertain relationship. Presumably this was a decision made with your partner and I share Hecate's hope that he intends to step up to plate in terms of financial provision and care for his dc.