New year new friend

[Littlemamamia]

I'm on the market for a new friend. I've decided that it's a new year and I don't have enough close friends anymore. I have 1 close friend who I regard as a best friend but she has dozens of friends and close friends. I have another close friend who lives a long way from me and I rarely get to see and 2 friends from school who I don't feel that connected to anymore. Lastly I had a really good friend/ neighbour who we saw each other 2/3 times per week but she has over a period of time distanced herself and made a new bf in the street. Any suggestions on how to get a new friend. Kids are a bit older now so not easy to meet other mums.

I'm going to do the same this year, I used to be strongly involved with a group of people through hobbies and I hope to get back into it good luck friends are so important

Nope i am rubbish got one friend that i have had for 16yrs and we meet up about 4 times a yr, i know loads of people and chat to lots but nobody i would go for a girly drink with on my own, we know a couple we go out with DH is friends with the guy and they seem nice
Maybe its cause i grew up without a mum and i had no sister till i was 14 but had 3 brothers all close in age

Hmm why not try joining an activity like a choir or a book group? I know it's a pain in the ass trying to make new friends but it's worth it in the end. You have to consider the first couple of months to be hard work and you have to take it slowly and carefully.

I make friends easily and here's how: I join things. So when I first moved to England I joined a choir and volleyball. I talk to everyone in the group, usually starting out by asking them to share equipment, commenting on their hair or clothes or the best one is to laugh at a joke they've made - that'll win you instant points! I can usually tell very quickly if I'm going to click with a person - can you?

If I get that clicky feeling I do my best over the next few weeks to initiate conversation, just a friendly chat and I make sure to ask one week about things they've mentioned the previous week - it shows interest and consideration. I look for signals that the person is interested in being friends - this is a lot like working up to asking someone out - don't just jump in there, they will definitely give you hints. After a few weeks people usually start saying things like "I love going out for a coffee and a chat," or "I'm going to start taking long walks but it's better if you have someone to talk to," - these are openings for you to suggest meeting up outside the organised activity. This is the very hardest part and you have to force yourself to be brave. Take the hint and suggest something that the person can get out of easily. Don't invite them to your house right away, that's too much. Just suggest meeting when you're both in town or something.

How the friendship progresses from there is a bit hit and miss really. Don't take it too much to heart if people drift away, that happens and it's nothing personal. I moved recently but in the two years I was living at my previous house I made three good friends with whom I'm still in regular contact. Unfortunately they're now very far away so I have to go through the whole process of finding a hang-out buddy again! I actually quite enjoy it :)

Is there anywhere on here for locals to meet each other?
I need a friend! As I've got older they seem to slip away. Some people I've done LoADS for and they've just walked away, others have seemingly decided I'm not worth bothering with!
I live in west Yorkshire, but due to " slight" disability I don't work so have days of boredom mums netting

There's mumsnet local on the topics page Mairy but I'm not sure if it's any good, I've never used it.

Im in the PTA at school, im a scout leader, a go to table tennis and everybody loves me and say how nice i am i do work long hours about 55 hrs per week but just dont meet anybody who wants to do coffee/chat

Just spent a lovely morning with close friend (bf) who wanted to visit me for coffee and wander round the sales. I have also arranged to meet my school friend ( that I'm not so close to now) for coffee next week and have txt my other old school friend. Still determined to make new friends this year but should also be gratefull for the ones I have I guess.

Great advice calilinDana, you sound really good at this sort of thing. Trouble is I don't really have time to join a club etc or maybe I should make time.

Dmo have you actually invited anyone for coffee. You are a stage ahead of me because you have already met potential friends. Maybe because you work long hours people assume you are too busy.