Two failed marriages...new surname required???

[LadyEatsCrispsALot]

So I married at 22 which lasted a year, but I took his surname and kept it until my second marriage at 33. We are now separating. I am 40.
I am just wondering if to keep second surname as it is the same as my darling 2 DCs? Even though marriage is over.
I don't want to revert to my maiden name as there are too many bad memories of my childhood associated with it.
Or just choose a completely new surname. Kind of reinventing myself?

Oop sorry this was for AIBU. X

Do it here and there too :-)

What's in a name? Well, lots...

New surname! Erm ... Depp??

Ooh Beckham?

I have a friend who did this. She chose the name of a favourite poet for her new surname. I guess it could as well be a place name, favourite writer, artist, actor, historical character?

I like the idea of choosing your own name. Another friend is planning on getting married and he and his partner will choose a new family name when they do.

Thanks Suzi. Will think about this a bit more! All quite new this separation. X

I'd keep the same name as my DCs I think.

Choose a new one a really cool one.. I really wanted to do this when I divorced my exh he was so name proud so I ditched it as soon as I had the change.. Ended up reverting back to my maiden name which for me was like going backwards... New name fresh start that's what I say

Mm. I'd keep the same name as my DCs. I would have felt pretty rejected if my mum had dumped 'my' name when she split up with my dad tbh. Clearly not everyone feels the same though.

i would keep the same name as my children, i think. (not that i have that at the mo). if you're going to do it though, then there's a writer called donna franceschild, which is cool imo. she chose her name to honour her mother frances. (obv).

My STBXSIL (how's that for an acronym?!) has a clutch of teenage/young adult children. They've all elected for different compilation surnames. Some use their father's name with her maiden name, some have one or the other, and one has their father's name with their STBX step-dad's surname.

I suppose it depends on the ages of your children, but I know theirs isn't an unusual situation. It's pretty normal for families to have various surnames these days, and it's also much more usual to decide to change your name or double-barrel it with a grandmother's maiden name. etc.

So basically I'm saying do what you like and trust the DC to choose their names, too :)

I knew someone who changed his name to Cardboard Box.

I have a stage name, a married name and a son from a first marriage with a different name, which was a complete concoction as I refused point blank to be known by his adoptive parents surname, which sounded like a swear word, and as he hated his adoptive parents, he was more than happy to start again too.

So we all have different names in this house. At least two of which were chosen for fairly random reasons.

Do what you like!

My mum kept my dads when they split (when I was around 10) and I always thought it a bit strange because I would have changed if it was me. So you never know what your kids might think!

Personally I would change it as I think its a quite positive way of moving on.