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Original poster

Stag weekend for 3 nights in BlackPool - would you let him go??

54 replies

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 13/01/2006 20:26

Dh has never stayed away from home before and im worried he may have seperation anxiety, get lost, feel homesick, not be ablke to sleep at night through worrying about me...im not sure hs really ready for an adventure like this!

And now the truth..

DH has been invited on his brothers Stag weekend, for three nights in Blackpool. Coincidently it falls on his days off in June so in theory he will be able to go... but Im not sure I want to be left on my own for 3 days whilst hes off boozing and having fun (I know thats selfish)

Im not worried about him being unfaithful as I trust him but I am worried they will go to strip clubs etc. In theory I wouldnt mind but in reality i would be very jealous and would probably be very upset (ridiculas reaction?)

Would you let your DH go? I know if i asked him not to go then he would stay at home but im not sure its very fair of me to ask him.

OP posts:
cathyspam · 13/01/2006 23:29

If you trust him then you have no reason to be jealous and should let him go. I would let my DH go but then I get told that I let him away with too much! He sounds kije he has been really honest and upfront with you about the strip club thing which is a good sign - he sounds like a good sort, dont think you have anything to worry about!

Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 13/01/2006 23:40

DH is very pleased that mumsnet has voted he can go He says he will stop making comments about wieries on the internet now lol

OP posts:
LoveMyGirls · 14/01/2006 17:34

Im very unreasonable and i dont think i could actually let him go im sitting here really thinking about it and my dp is the most perfect bloke in the world treats me like a queen but the thought of him being in the same room with a load of strippers makes me feel so upset. i am insecure about my body (just had a baby) i know in theory i wouldnt want to stop him having fun so i can definatley see where you're coming from. if you do let him go your a better woman than i. i know i would spend the whole weekend on the phone crying - pathetic i know!

Beetrootfultoyourself · 14/01/2006 17:36

I hate the LET word.

All men go to strip clubs...cos they are weirdos

Yes dh would go..it is his brother

sansouci · 14/01/2006 17:39

Yeah, why not. It's his brother & all.

gomez · 14/01/2006 17:45

If it is any consolation my DH went to a stag do - him and a few of the other guys decided the strippers and dancers were all old trouts anyway and they were in fact wasting vaulable boozing time. And in fact it was all a bit boring. .

Davros · 15/01/2006 20:48

I think my DH would find the whole thing boring. I can't imagine him ever wanting to go. Maybe he's too old!

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 15/01/2006 20:59

we don't tend to give or with-hold permission in our house. more a case of "what's it worth?" which, in this case would be 3 days for myself off doing whatever I fancied.

crazydazy · 15/01/2006 21:05

DP doesn't like strip clubs and so don't think he would go....he once went for the night but I couldn't complain as I went on the hen night but I didn't stay out all night like him.

I would say don't worry about the strip clubs as most guys go there just for a laugh anyway, if you trust him you have no worries.

mumfor1sttime · 15/01/2006 21:09

I would let dh go. He has been to Ibiza for a week on his own!
He wouldnt be interested in the strippers, just the booze!

nightowl · 16/01/2006 02:51

you dont need to go to a strip club in blackpool. most of the pubs have them..in fact, they're hard to avoid. i never saw anyone get a personal dance either, just a gang of men dribbling into their pints while their girlfriends (us) sadly shook our heads and laughed at them. i wouldnt have a problem with it.

ghosty · 16/01/2006 03:14

Like the womanwhothoughtshewasahat (am very intrigued to know what is behind that name!!) we don't have the permission thing either and it is a 'what is it worth' type thing. You go for 3 nights away ... so that means I get to do something at some point too ...
And I am with Beetroot with the LET word ... DH would kill himself laughing if I asked mumsnet if I should let him do something. And I would be fuming if he didn't let me do something.
DH has been to strip clubs on stagnights several times, it doesn't bother me in the slightest. No, actually I did have a problem with it one time when I was heavily pregnant but I guess that is understandable.
If you trust him then what is the problem?

crazydazy · 16/01/2006 10:15

DP's argument always is "its not you I don't trust its other blokes". He seems to think women get chatted up by every bloke they meet.

crazydazy · 16/01/2006 10:15

DP's argument always is "its not you I don't trust its other blokes". He seems to think women get chatted up by every bloke they meet.

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 16/01/2006 10:18

ghosty - thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat is harpsichordcarrier's fault. she suggested themanwhomistookhiswifeforahat for my post-Christmas hat-related name but I rather liked this instead.

lou33 · 16/01/2006 10:19

I'd let him go

iota · 16/01/2006 10:19

I wouldn't worry if my dh went.

But then he's often away on business - -in fact he's in Las Vegas all this week.

mummytosteven · 16/01/2006 10:21

Yes, I'ld be happy with that. I'ld want a chance for a nice break too though at some point later in year.

NomDePlume · 16/01/2006 10:23

I'm not my DH's keeper so it wouldn't be a case of 'letting him go', although he would ask me if I minded him being away for a few days on a jolly. If you trust him, let him go and have a good time

Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 16/01/2006 10:48

re the word 'let' - you know what i mean

Dh will be able to go, depending on finances. As I said, he works so hard all year and does more than his fair share of childcare and never minds me going out anywhere.

But

How can I get over this problem I have with strippers??? Dh has never seeb anyone naked other than me before! And it took me a year to stop being paraniod about porn! Think I may start a new thread.... sounds silly i know but I cant help it!

OP posts:
clerkKent · 16/01/2006 13:18

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat - I love the name. DS is reading my old copy of the Oliver Sacks book.

There is no chance that dh will do anything "wrong" now that it has been discussed here. Lets hear what it was like when he gets back.

Prettyfull · 16/01/2006 13:28

Tamba, this will make you feel a whole lot better.

Admitedly id be very jelous if my dp went to Blackpool for the weekend and id worry about all sorts...but..

Iv just come back from Blackpool, me and dp went there for new years eve as its his birthday....

ALL THE STRIP CLUBS are closed lol, we went to many different pubs and tried some clubs...there are ALOT of strip clubs etc but there were ALL closed!!!

HTH x

NomDePlume · 16/01/2006 14:50

Tamba - I used to be a lap dancer, pre DH and kids, the girls I worked with were really normal, not man-eating nympho husband-stealers . So please don't worry about anything untoward happening with the dancers, it is v unlikely. To the majority in that line of work it is just a job.

I honestly don't think that he will compare the bodies of the dancers to yours, if that is what you are worried about. He loves you. He may well get there and feel embarrassed by the gyrating flesh, some guys really do.

Original poster
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 16/01/2006 16:57

NDP - I really hope this doesnt come across wrongly because its meant to be a compliment. I feel so much better now that you have said you used to be a lap dancer because you are well normal, not husband stealing, not easy, just a person doing a job. It helps alot to see the dancers as real people iykwim. I hope that came out right.

PMSL prettyful!!!! He is going in June though so they will probably be open by then

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 16/01/2006 17:05

No offence taken, tamba.

I did the job because it was the best way I could earn lots of money for very few hours with the qualifications I had .