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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Seeing solicitor this afternoon re injunction for violent exDP and child access

6 replies

LivingAGirlsAdventureTale · 03/01/2012 12:37

and I really don't know what to expect or what to ask for.

I have name changed as exDP knows my usual posting name and I am using this one until I can think of a better one.

I have had had years of emotional abuse from exDP and several incidents where I needed to call the police regarding his violent behaviour. The last and final time was on Christmas Day where he got drunk and slammed me into the kitchen door jamb several times before repeatedly stamping on my glasses then hiding them. I called the police once he had left the property. He was arrested for assault and criminal damage and spent a night in the cells to sober up before being interviewed the next day. He lied his way through that and was released without charge as there "was not enough evidence", despite the police officer retrieving my broken glasses for me from the place exDP put it and me having a kicked in door and broken door lock.

Since he was released I have heard nothing , apart from his sister collecting his belongings from my home (he does not live here thankfully) until New Years's Day when he started texting and phoning me demanding access. He also emailed my very ill father who deleted email without reading and can't retrieve it. He also contacted my 11 year old daughter and I have now blocked him doing it again.

I am scared of him, I am scared of how he will react once legal proceedings begin but I have told my DD we stand up to bullies and he is not going to get away with the behaviour and name calling anymore. He attempted to gaslight me for a very long time and made me very isolated.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom about what I need to get done or should I leave it all to the solicitor? Sorry for long post but did not want to drip feed.

Thanks for reading this far .

OP posts:
LivingAGirlsAdventureTale · 03/01/2012 12:40

Sorry not clear...exDP and I have a 3 yr old DS together and it is access to him that I am trying to sort out. My DD is from a previous marriage.

And I should also point out that both DCs witnessed his violence on Christmas Day and were understandably quite traumatised by it.

OP posts:
bakingaddict · 03/01/2012 12:46

Good for you for standing up to him.....your solicitor will do the necessary paperwork so you'll not have to do anything.

Just tell them the facts, what he has done to you in the past, you could even write some of it down in chronological order if you feel you might get too emotional in telling it in person. If they are a good solicitor then they'll guide you through it

Hope you have a happy and safe 2012

LivingAGirlsAdventureTale · 03/01/2012 12:50

Thank you bakingaddict you have made me sniffle a bit. I wish you a happy and safe 2012 too.

I guess I just wanted clarification that I am doing the right thing. Have to get a bag of toys together for DS now as appointment is quite soon.

OP posts:
TimeForSomeAction · 03/01/2012 12:56

A huge well done from me too! You are doing the right thing. As bakingaddict says, your solicitor will handle everything. My solicitor was amazing, all the worry and fear disappeared once he took control of everything, I honestly felt taken care of, it was a huge relief.

You stay strong, it does get easier and the more control you get back of your own life the less you will fear your ex. Good luck with your appointment. Treat yourself to something nice afterwards, you deserve it Smile

babyhammock · 03/01/2012 17:27

Write EVERYTHING down and be prepared to hear unimagineable bollox from his end. Don't be embarassed or afraid to ask witnesses to help to back you up.
Goodluck and pm me any time you want as I've recently been through very similar and still ongoing. x

Slambang · 03/01/2012 18:28

How did it go, Living?

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