Namechanging, as I've suffered a tremendous devastating loss of a child, and this is rather trivial, so don't want to be flamed for thinking about such stuff when grieving, but still need to work out whether this is adding to my misery.
I dyed my hair the other day (was blonde, but is now back to my natural dark colour again). DH said (post-coital cuddling) how much better it looked. I was pleased, and said that I needed the boost that trying to look more attractive brought; he then replied that the colour doesn't make me look more attractive, just more "intelligent". I was a bit stunned, and said I'd hoped it'd make me look more attractive and sexy, but again - "nope, it just makes you look more intelligent, which you should be pleased about".
So, I'm overthinking this, but this means that I must have looked like a retard with lighter hair, or I just can't do anything to look better - I mean... intelligent - really? Somehow it doesn't feel like a compliment, it feels like... I don't know really, but not the response I wanted.
Secondly. He never gives me oral anymore. Not a sniff, not a single lick, zilch!
It wouldn't necessarily worry me, as I've had men not like it before, but he used to love doing it, saying it would devastate him if I didn't want it.
He first stopped doing it when pregnant with our first child (he couldn't see my face as my belly was large), then we were tired, then I got pregnant again. So now I'm not pregnant (had baby 3 months ago and she died), I'm clean down there, I shave etc, but still he won't. I've always given him BJs though.
I gave him oral last night, he said it was the best blowjob ever, he then brought me off manually.
So I ask him, I tell him it's fine if he doesn;t want to, but not to BS me. He said he'd do it if I step straight out of the shower, as he hates the smell of wee (I must add he's only ever given me oral after bathing, so he can;t claim that about me). Yet, when I do bathe/shower, he's "not in the mood", so how the hell do I win?
He's admitted that he's given oral to his ex fuck buddy, & the women he & his ex had threesomes with, but this was due to him being turned on, and "into them, and loving giving a woman oral".
I know all this is trivial compared to what we've lost, but I'm thinking of leaving (for other reasons), and just wondered if the comments about hair colour, and readily admitting to loving oral, but refusing to give it to me, is just his way of saying he's not into me anymore?