Advice please on fairly new relationship

[bigshinydinosaur]

Okay, some background..................

We used to work together years ago and went out for a few months about ten years ago. Got back in touch on Facebook and he asked me out. He lives about 40 miles away. We've been seeing each other since October and have actually seen each other about 6 times and he's stayed over.

When he's here, he's brilliant...tactile, we get on great, we have a laugh. He's told his friends he's seeing me and he told his family he was seeing someone when he went over there for Christmas. He gets on great with my 5 year old DS.

My worry is the communication in between dates is not great. I tend to be more forthcoming about my feelings and give more away about my feelings than he does.....not in an I love you way, more in an I am missing you a bit today. Our main communication is via text, which he is inconsistent with.............as in sometimes, he'll take 10 minutes to reply, sometimes it will be all day. I know he's not that keen on texting and leads a busy life, as I do.

When he left on New Year's Eve, he had said he was looking forward to seeing me again in 2012 and we have talked about what our next date is going to entail.

I would love some advice on how not to worry about things.....when in actual fact, there really isn't anything to worry about. Or maybe someone has some tips on how I can improve communication or find a way of letting him know how i'm feeling that doesn't make him freak out.

I said to him yesterday via text that I was feeling a little mushy and whether it was okay to express that to him. When he text back, he asked how I was and whether i'd had a good day. I don't think he's brilliant at vocalising his feelings.

I'm at a bit of a crossroads with this one and want to relax and enjoy it, but not sure how.

Sorry it's a bit rambly!

Fabby also has a point here.

I definitely think he's keen, but he's not very good at expressing his feelings.......and like someone else has said, it's early on to be talking about feelings I guess.

I will try and distract myself lol

Oh my god, Pippa how dreadful

Hmmm. I wouldn't be able to deal with this. It's not because I'm a stalker either, I'm very relaxed and like a lot of freedom in relationships. But to not be banging down your door to talk to you after only 3 months would ring warning bells to me.

I'm only saying this because it's clear from your posts that you want a relationship. You don't want friends with benefits, do you?

You've only seen him 6 times in 3 months and you've already introduced him to your ds?

Why did he leave on New Year's Eve - did he have a longstanding engagement to attend and express his regret that he couldn't take you? Did you see him at any time over the Christmas holidays?

Do you know any of his friends or the family members that are plying him with questions since he told them about you?

Do you talk regularly on landline phones, or are all of your communications conducted by mobile?

40 miles isn't any great distance especially if he stays over at your place, but it seems to me that this may be shaping up to be a FWB relationship and you're best advised to keep your emotions in check at least until he invites you to stay over with him one weekend.

I hope you'll start your own thread Pippa as I'm somewhat concerned that you haven't referred to this money hungry guy as your 'ex'.

Hello, I've not posted before and quite new to mums net. My questios/advice is this, you mentioned you've both dated before? Why did it end? What's changed?Also, my initial advice, 'hold back' during early stages of seeing one another from having sex and him staying overnight at your place. (I realise you may have already reached this point, but as it's still early, could you reintroduce this boundary until you feel more comfortable?) you will gain important insights about him from focusing on getting to know one another without the physical stuff so soon into the relationship and he may also respect you more for 'holding back'

Also, I'm not sure you should read too much into the fact he's mentioned you to his friends and family. Being introduced to them can mean more.

I do appreciate you will have 'gut feelings' about the relationship. Does it feel right? Trust your instincts.