Divorce petition - has anyone filed in person at county court?

[veryconfusedatthemoment]

Hi, I am looking for some help. My stbeh had an affair last year - we didn't have a great marriage so when I found out I asked him to leave asap. We started mediation but he walked out and just before Christmas sent me (via his solicitors) a divorce petition on grounds of MY unreasonable behaviour to be filed in court early 2012. I am aware he has done this to avoid his adultery being used. He is quite important in his field and we have a young child so I guess there is some guilt.

My solicitor has said that I have choices - accept the divorce petition and the grounds, accept the petition but deny all grounds or "counter sue" on grounds of his adultery. I have tried really hard for weeks to be the better person and I can't do it, so I do want to sue for adultery and I am going to name the other person. He has lied and lied and I am so fed up with it.

My solicitor has said that it would be "litigant in person". I was just wondering if I turn up at the county court with the right form what further evidence I need to provide. Any experiences very welcome.

I think that the divorce forms are on the courts website. There are guidance notes there which say what you need. Sorry, I'm on my phone so can't give you a link.

Sorry that wasn't very helpful! If you can't download the forms then you can collect them from the court office. In my experience the clerks are really helpful with filling things in and checking all the paperwork for you.

The petition is entirely confidential, no one but the parties, the solicitors and the court know the details, so it makes no sense that he would try to protect his reputation by avoiding an adultery petition.

If you divorce him on adultery he has to admit it. I never name the other person in the petition, there is no point and it raises the emotional temperature even more and makes things even more difficult.

If your h denies adultery you have wasted the court fee of £340, your time and your energy. You will then have to apply to change the petition to one of unreasonable behaviour.

I suggest that if he won't admit the adultery that you change your petition to his unreasonable behaviour.

I can quite understand why you don't want him to go on the grounds of your behaviour, but because the rules are different and you don't have to admit unreasonable behaviour, if he is going to be bloody minded about it he will go ahead and issue and the whole thing will get messy, expensive and emotionally exhausting.

More likely he filed on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour to get around divorcing after 2 years of separation. As mumblechum1 says, no-one else is ever going to be able to find out the details of the petition so really, what difference does it make? I can understand your annoyance and outrage, but it is just a technicality and I think it would be extremely wrong, when you have a young child who you need to put first, to purposefully inflame the situation because your pride is injured. You want to divorce him, you said you didn't have a great marriage and it really does not matter what it says in the papers.

You and your ex are about to begin a co-parenting relationship that will probably be several times longer than your marriage. For your child's sake, you have got to get that right. Counter-suing for adultery and naming the other person will achieve exactly nothing except to make things worse for your child.

I filled on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour, just because I couldn't bear to spend 2 years waiting for a friendly divorce to be precessed.

If you are uncomfortable with the allegations just deny but say that you accept the marriage has broken down and want to go ahead with the divorce process.