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Original poster

Just not happy...

3 replies

Littlemissmagnet · 29/12/2011 23:07

Just wondered if I'm being silly. I met my Husband 10 years ago we now have a 2 yr old DS together. He is a good man and brilliant father to our DS. All good so far however I'm not sure I'm happy (I know happiness is not the be all and end all) we went through a really rough patch when DS was born.I worry all the time we both work very hard and we never spend any time together as he is always in the garage, cycling or on the internet. (Cycling websites and e-bay mostly)I banned him from the internet (on his phone) one night as we weren't even speaking (not on purpose) in the evenings I'm not working. That didn't go well as we then just wound each other up. I'm sure he is not even interested in me or if I am so boring and uninteresting that we just don't connect any more. We are both working and trying to save for a house and getting nowhere which means we are both stressed. I guess I am just feeling the strain of a full time job, a DS (who is amazing little man by the way) and a strained relationship and to top it off he thinks its a good time for No 2 but If we have No 2 we will never get a house....and the list goes on and all the time apart from DS I am not enjoying life. Sorry to moan please tell me to stop being silly and pull myself together....Blush

OP posts:
1Catherine1 · 30/12/2011 02:25

Don't you just hate it when life gets in the way?

Sounds like the two of you are plodding along with life and not stopping to enjoy it. Right now there is probably hope for you to fix this but if you leave it you will become the couple that drifted apart. Putting your foot down to break the routine won't help and will only build resentment. My OH will play games and such when home, it is what he does to wind down. To suddenly say "no, attention me!" is a little demanding and puts too much pressure on him.

I think you need to have an evening out together, just the two of you. Get a babysitter and see if you can remember why you loved him in the first place. If you have willing parents or PIL then perhaps push for a weekend away focusing just on your relationship, not on deciding where you go next.

I don't think you are being silly. I think you are noticing the cracks as they are starting to appear. Good old communication and quality time is what you need now. Good luck,

lazarusinNazareth · 30/12/2011 19:02

I agree - getting out of the house minimises distractions. It doesn't have to be expensive but just a chance for the two of you to talk. Again, it's probably a good thing you have noticed this so early.

Original poster
Littlemissmagnet · 30/12/2011 23:33

Thanks guys for your Posts. I think this is the root of the problem, we have no one to support us as my parents and family are in a different country and his parents are the swoon over the grandchild for three hours but you can have him back now because we are now tired type (But they can walk mountains for days on end). They also live 3 hours away. We only have people in the area that we have to pay for childcare and OH never wants to spend any money. So the circle carries on.....

Thanks for the kind advice it means a lot.

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