Trivial but it matters to me so i just thought id ask

[oiwheresthecoffee]

Hello
Erm im just asking for opinions really about a sort of relationship im having/begining.
Ive met a guy at work , so far seems nice , texts , we talk etc etc we re meeting up soon. No issues here so far.
However i have quite an..interesting history of dire relationships/experiences with men and so have never had a proper relationship (im early 20s). I also have some MH issues - under control but will always be a part of my life and i often struggle day to day and dont have much to judge what is "normal" by.

A few of my friends know this , ones i can trust - i.e ones with MH issues too. Im just wondering how i approach this with regard to this guy/any future relationship. When is the time to tell him /how much to say to begin with - do i just leave it for a bit then mention i have a few issues and like ive done with my friends discuss as and when the need arises ? etc etc.

Any opinions /experiences would be appreciated. Im sure it wont be a huge deal but so far not many people are aware unless they have known me a long time and/or lived with me.

I think you should wait till you've met him at least! Sorry if that sounds flippant but you are overthinking it. For a long time he will be a stranger to you and doesn't need to know intimate details about your life. If it were the other way round, when would like to know? Perhaps that could be a guide to how you pace your revelations. Good luck.

Not trivial at all but I think you might be jumping the gun a bit. Take your time - get to know him, see if you trust him, see if you think you have any sort of potential future, see if you can have fun with him and relax with him. Then you have the conversation as you have with your friends - and I'm sure it will be absolutely fine.

Thanks for posting. I know i might be jumping the gun ! Thats why i put for in the future as well because its eating at me a bit in general. Id wondered before i met him as well. And for whats its worth i have known him a while as a friend at work , just not met up as a "date" type thing. I dont think i explained very well. :)
I think you re right i wouldnt want to know straight away , maybe after a while so theres no need to reveal anything major just yet.

I agree with the others above about taking it slowly. Also it gives you the chance to weight him up regarding his attitude towards people in differing circumstances and with various problems and experiences. Is he open-minded and interested? Or blinkered and unsympathetic? You can tell a lot about a man by sitting in a pub with them on a Sunday afternoon and reading the Sunday papers together.

If you think he has potential, after getting to know him a bit better, you could then perhaps discuss how common it is for young people to have experienced depression or other mental health problems, and how you yourself have not been immune - and how excited you are about living the rest of your life in the most positive way you can, with the help of those around you.

If he walks, he's not the one for you anyway.

:) Thank you linerunner that was a nice post. All the people who posted i will be taking your advice , will take it slowly and see how it goes.

Do you work together? If so I would be very careful about telling him about MH issues, particularly if your employer is not aware. I have a MH history as well, so I do sympathise, I am very open online, but much less open in real life.