Some of you may remember my threads from a few months ago. My Dh was having an affair. Anyway, we are now at a a stage where I have filed for divorce and the last 8 weeks have been quite shit as the Other woman has drip fed me hurtful info (been in my house and slept in my bed for example. Met my son on the sly is another.) I have had a few horrendous rows with H over this shit, and I know he has still been sleeping with her up until last week at least. Anyway, I have told him this shit has got to stop, and throughout it all I have never ever used my ds as a weapon, H sees him 4-5 times a week and has been round here all day. He's coming round tomorrow at 0730am for present opening. I have said he can stay for dinner if he likes. Just trying to do the right thing. When we are in the same house sometimes it's like nothing has happened and then i remember and i get a physical pain in my stomach. Anyway, the hard stuff that has killed me tonight. He has always maintained he wants me back. I have always maintained that I can't trust him and I'm not willing to be the kind of person being married to him would make me. Tonight as he was leaving he grabbed me and we both stood, hugging and crying. Basically I was so sad because it's xmas eve and he has fucked up something that was so so good just because he was thinking with his cock. He was pleading with me and begging me and saying he will never stop trying. Anyway. There you have it.