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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So god damn bittersweet...broken beyond repair

8 replies

gemmummy · 24/12/2011 18:57

Some of you may remember my threads from a few months ago. My Dh was having an affair. Anyway, we are now at a a stage where I have filed for divorce and the last 8 weeks have been quite shit as the Other woman has drip fed me hurtful info (been in my house and slept in my bed for example. Met my son on the sly is another.) I have had a few horrendous rows with H over this shit, and I know he has still been sleeping with her up until last week at least. Anyway, I have told him this shit has got to stop, and throughout it all I have never ever used my ds as a weapon, H sees him 4-5 times a week and has been round here all day. He's coming round tomorrow at 0730am for present opening. I have said he can stay for dinner if he likes. Just trying to do the right thing. When we are in the same house sometimes it's like nothing has happened and then i remember and i get a physical pain in my stomach. Anyway, the hard stuff that has killed me tonight. He has always maintained he wants me back. I have always maintained that I can't trust him and I'm not willing to be the kind of person being married to him would make me. Tonight as he was leaving he grabbed me and we both stood, hugging and crying. Basically I was so sad because it's xmas eve and he has fucked up something that was so so good just because he was thinking with his cock. He was pleading with me and begging me and saying he will never stop trying. Anyway. There you have it.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 24/12/2011 18:59

That is really sad. :( I'm sorry.

keSnowBi · 24/12/2011 19:01

Nothing to say but have a HUGE hug. Remember: this too shall pass. xxx

gemmummy · 24/12/2011 19:02

Don't feel too sorry for me. My family are arriving at about 9pm. just having a sad moment cos it's only me and my baby in the house. just so different from past xmas eves. we were together 10 years.

OP posts:
maleview70 · 24/12/2011 19:14

It's Always tough at this time of year. I split up with my ex wife 8 weeks before and it was heartbreaking. Mine is a similar story as she was also still sleeping with the OM Yet was begging my forgiveness. He says he will keep trying but he isn't trying at all is he?

He is still sleeping with a woman who is being deliberately horrible to you and he must know that.

Life will get better and believe me you won't regret it. Taking control of a situation like this makes you much stronger and much wiser when you are ready to start again.

I know a woman whose husband cheated on her. She forgave him. 2 years later he cheated again. She forgave him again! Guess what...he is at it again! Some people are weak but you are not one of them as you have done the hard work.

babyhammock · 24/12/2011 19:17

Sorry you're going through this. I'd say though if he was that sorry he wouldn't have carried on sleeping with her up until last week after you'd found out.

susiedaisy · 24/12/2011 20:24

Sorry to hear of what you've been through sending you positive thoughts and hugs stay strong!

daisystone · 24/12/2011 21:28

That's shit. I'm sorry. Why are men such f*ing idiots? That's the million dollar question. Christmas DOES make everything seem so much worse and feelings are raw.

When the trust is gone it is impossible or nearly impossible to get it back. Only you can say what you do next, but you have my sympathy and know that your situation is happening all around the world and you are not alone. Bollocks to Christmas.

Sparks1 · 24/12/2011 21:55

Why are people such F*ing idiots?

He's still sleeping with her,you've filed for divorce.

Time to move on. The fact it's all sentimental and christmas is beside the point. You have no future with this man. I'm sure a much better one awaits!

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