Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lonely

31 replies

mummasita · 24/12/2011 10:49

It's christmas tommorow everyone including my DB has travelled. I have no husband no boyfriend no nothing. Very tempted to go out get blind drunk get with a handsome random fella??

OP posts:
NoddyHoldersWig · 24/12/2011 10:52

I know the feeling. My family are away and my "boyfriend" doesn't want to spend Christmas day with me so it's just me and the kids tomorow.

It's only one day - there will be plenty more Christmases, maybe next year's will be better?

Yourefired · 24/12/2011 10:59

Life can be a bit like this at times, and yes it sucks. I know a couple of people in the same position. One has planned a me day, lie-in, films, lovely food etc, and going for a run. The other is volunteering at a local shelter. Both options sound pretty good to me. Could you do something like these?

izzywhizzysmincepies · 24/12/2011 11:05

The problem with getting 'blind drunk' is that you may end up with an ugly random and that would be a downer.

Treat the next 48 hours as your special time and hole up with a pile of dvds/good books so that you don't have to watch festive crap on tv, and luxuriate in blissful please-yourself solitude with foodie goodies of your choice.

If you're alone on New Year's Eve, venture out and keep your glasses on until you've selected your target assured yourself that you're going feel good about what you've pulled when you wake up with him in the morning.

joblot · 24/12/2011 12:15

It's only 1 day. Try enjoy being on your own, eat drink, dance...that's my plan anyway. And plan how you're going to have a good 2012

springydaffs · 24/12/2011 14:17

I'm on my own tomorrow too. nc with family, and kids have gone nc with me Sad. So that's a bit heartbreaking. I have volunteered at a homeless shelter for christmas week, first shift christmas day and I'm looking forward to it. imo it's always good to give, especially when you're feeling glum. Gets you out of yourself. Before I got the christmas day shift I was planning to have a 'me' day and was really looking forward to it! I wouldn't recommend the going out for the sake of it. Nights like that can end up being bleak tbh ie you're already feeling shit, to go out and do something high-risk emotionally (if not physically re skanky bloke, mucho alcohol) is a bit of a risk imo. If you want to go out and have a good dance and a good laugh/time then fair enough, but to go out to get bladdered and end up in bed with a stranger - bleurgh (imo). Then there's the hangover tomorrow.. nah, not worth it.

GoingForGoalWeight · 24/12/2011 14:21

Seven years jusy myself and my DS. I find New Years Eve difficult, nobody to kiss :( Nobody calls or texts me either :(
Oh well it's the life of a lone carer.

ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow · 24/12/2011 17:39

Why have your kids cut you out, Springy?

springydaffs · 24/12/2011 18:30

How long have you got puppy? It's a bleak story.

itsxmascryingagain · 24/12/2011 18:45

Hello everyone. I have my small family around me so not entirely on my own but I still feel lonely being single - still, at this time of year! Thought there was some promise this year but it has not turned out that way. Also a lot of loss through the years which has made a small family, a very small family AND one of my kids has to work tomorrow also.

Anyway, I'm going to log on here tomorrow so maybe we can all have a christmas chat? Love to you all.

WelshCerys · 24/12/2011 19:09

Springy, sorry to hear this. Good for you for organizing yourself this Christmas by helping at a shelter. Stay hopeful - nothing is forever (I've discovered).

mummasita - echo the others - take a lot of care of yourself, indulge yourself (cherish the time), not someone else's blind drunk fantasies - please.

Love to you all. xx

mummasita · 24/12/2011 21:16

Who's gonna snog me on New Years????? I just realized

OP posts:
joblot · 24/12/2011 23:18

mumma i will, i'm free

Ifancyashandy · 24/12/2011 23:57

I can't tell you how much I would love to be spending the day alone tomorrow. Am single, no kids. Am MN'ing from the lumpy single bed in my parents spare room. Today it was just the three of us. Tomorrow ditto. They are lovely and try hard to make it special but I keenly feel my singleness (which never bothers me at any other time. And doesn't bother me per say at Christmas, just when I'm lying in this bloody bed!) and the pressure of all the attention being on me. Only child. 39. And just the three of us for 3 days. It just feels so.....insular. And boring if truth be told. Am nowhere near my home town, so no friends to escape to.

I love them dearly and feel guilty but my god, I would love to be waking up at home, going for a run, having a glass of bubbly in a bubble bath and then eating, drinking & relaxing all day on my own.

Guilt, guilt...I do count my blessings and know I'm lucky to have parents who love me.

Sorry. Rant over.

joblot · 25/12/2011 00:02

sounds hard shandy. come home soon

Ifancyashandy · 25/12/2011 00:19

Thanks Joblot. Actually, your acknowledgement that it's hard head made me feel a little better - that it's ok to find this difficult. To be a bit sad not to be in the bosom of a loud, buosterious family liked on the sodding adverts!

Also bought a rear to my eye but thank you!

And am intelligent enough to know life ain't like the adverts for most of us!

izzywhizzysmincepies · 25/12/2011 00:21

Having lost a number of loved ones over the years, shandy, I can say with considerabe authority that there may come a Christmas when you are having a glass of bubbly in the tub and wish you were lying in that lumpy single bed so that you could see your dps' faces and give them a hug in the morning.

I hope that's not too maudlin for Christmas Day - I'm feeling unusually teary because I've consumed more than my fair share a few snowballs during the course of the evening.

Perhaps this isn't the place for it but, neverthless, A Very Merry Christmas To One And All and especially those for whom the festive season doesn't always bring much cheer Wine

Heleninahandcart · 25/12/2011 00:22

You know what? its already gone 12 midnight so there is only 23 hours to go and its over. Done, we'll not have to listen to Slade blasting out and can even if anyone is stuck somewhere on the 26th there will be escape in the form of 'popping to the shops/garage'.

I think it's also about time someone said that its OK to want to spend the C word with someone special, its OK to want to be held, its OK to want intimacy, it's ok to want a fantasy present from a significant other. Yes we love DC, parents, friends whatever and we can be grateful for them but its NOT the same and we shouldn't feel guilty that we feel something is missing.

There are probably millions of us, thank goodness for internet chat.

Heleninahandcart · 25/12/2011 00:27

Cheers Izzy, cross posted Wine

to everyone the biggest of unMN hugs

Ifancyashandy · 25/12/2011 00:33

Izzy, sorry for your loses and I totally get your point (hence the guilt and counting of blessings) & I will try and remember that tomorrow when my mum is repeating a story for the millionth time again!

Merry Christmas to one and all and here's to a happy 2012.

joblot · 25/12/2011 00:34

here here (or is it hear hear???)

as an only child who fights the guilt, i feel your pain shandy

the ads do my head in, i know I shouldnt but i feel bit of a failure for not being part of a large happy family

merry christmas to us, one and all. etc.

Ifancyashandy · 25/12/2011 00:39

Back at ya!

aleene · 25/12/2011 00:39

goingforgoalwieght merry Xmas to you and your DS! I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job for your child, or whoever it is you care for, and I hope you have a peaceful day.

joblot · 25/12/2011 00:46

oh how i wish i was less cynical, then i'd believe in god and be dead pleased about baby jesus. instead my lip curls and i feel flat. the drama of being agnostic

springydaffs · 25/12/2011 00:58

aw I've just been to a really lovely service at my church, so I feel sorry for you joblot (is that patronising?). A very young guy was on the communion team and he said 'yeah, God give you strenf, like strenfen you this christmas' and that was just lovely, a real blessing. Because I certainly do need strength this christmas

springydaffs · 25/12/2011 00:59

that posted before I was ready! ah well - God give you strenf this christmas, one and all Xmas Smile