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Original poster

How do you break off a relationship right on Christmas? :-(

28 replies

NoddyHoldersWig · 24/12/2011 10:07

I am involved in a relationship that I just don't want to be involved with anymore. He hasn't done anything wrong as such, I just don't enjoy it anymore. We have little in common, there is no future in it, the sex is crap, the whole thing is boring and tedious and I just want out.
It's now Christmas eve however, he's coming to see me tonight, all merry with the joys of Christmas Hmm and I CAN'T break up with him Christmas eve, it's cruel.
Obviously Christmas day is out.
Boxing day he's coming to spend the afternoon/night with me. I can't really do it then either, can I?
The next time I see him after that will be NYE - he's been looking forward to NYE for months, to break THAT off with devastate him. He has no friends, no social life, nothing. His entire life seems to revolve around me and work. Without me, his life would consist of work and sleep. How depressing but it's not my responsibilty, is it? Sad

See another thing is I know he's bought me quite a few Christmas presents (only realised this yesterday otherwise I would have broken up sooner before he bought me anything) so what do I do about that then? the last thing I want is for him to think I've waited until after Christmas so I get loads of presents first! I tried to discourage him from buying me too much, didn't work.

Oh what do I do? Sad Do I just wait until after NYE?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 24/12/2011 10:09

Oh what a predicament!! I don't know what to suggest!

lubeybaublely · 24/12/2011 10:10

Just get it over and done with before you start fretting about it being near valentines day, then his birthday, then his dogs death's anniversary, etc etc.

No time is a GOOD time tbh so may as well get on with it.

supadupaturkeystupor · 24/12/2011 10:10

no, i would do it today. It's gonna hurt but i don't think it would be right to string him along

Original poster
NoddyHoldersWig · 24/12/2011 10:11

But being "dumped" on Christmas eve? I feel sad just thinking about that! Sad

OP posts:
supadupaturkeystupor · 24/12/2011 10:14

i bet he has an idea surely?? and it gives him the opportunity to return your gifts (not much consolation i know)

lubeybaublely · 24/12/2011 10:14

Leave it for xmas if you really can't face it but fgs finish it before NYE. Offer his presents back if you feel it looks like you strung it out for those.

The above^^ applies as long as you are sure btw, which it sounds like you are

Original poster
NoddyHoldersWig · 24/12/2011 10:15

I don't think he does Supa, he keeps going on about all the stuff we're going to do next summer and that he wants to book a weekend away for our birthdays in May etc. This makes it even worse really because he really doesn't see it coming.

OP posts:
gothicsanta · 24/12/2011 10:17

Is there something else going on for you -think about how you would feel if it was the other way round what would be least hurtful give you maximum self esteem timing and way of breaking up and then if you are0absolutely sure break up as well as you can

BertieBotts · 24/12/2011 10:17

www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/44-tips-for-surviving-christmasthe-holidays-whether-youre-single-in-a-relationship-no-contact-or-broken-hearted/

Especially point 27:

Know your relationship is on the rocks but insisting on keeping it together for Christmas? Really it?s the difference between a crap Christmas or a crap New Year ? you?re putting off the inevitable.

stuffedauberginexmasdinner · 24/12/2011 10:18

I think it depends how much it would worsen your Xmas and nye if you didnt break up. If being with him will ruin it for you then just get it over with ASAP.

Original poster
NoddyHoldersWig · 24/12/2011 10:25

It doesn't really matter to me either way, I won't see him Christmas day anyway (bugbear of the relationship - we're never actually together at the important times, so pointless) and NYE would save me a hell of a lot of money if I could get out of it.

At the same time, I don't want to destroy the whole time of year for him either.

OP posts:
spanna41 · 24/12/2011 10:51

Noddy - why are you not spending Christmas Day together?

Original poster
NoddyHoldersWig · 24/12/2011 10:58

He doesn't want to involve the kids spanna which means every important date is spent separately. The only reason he's coming down on boxing day is because my kids are going to their dad. He's leaving his in the house on her own Sad

OP posts:
RecursiveMoon · 24/12/2011 11:03

Aw Sad, how old is his DD?

Original poster
NoddyHoldersWig · 24/12/2011 11:06

She's 15 but even so, my parents would never have left me alone on boxing day. This is what I mean, he doesn't seem to really care about anyone.

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 24/12/2011 11:09

So he has got something else in his life, Noddy. His DD. Sounds like a Christmas Eve "Welcome to Dumpsville" will at least mean he can spend Boxing Day with his DD.

You'd be doing her a FAVOUR Wink

Original poster
NoddyHoldersWig · 24/12/2011 11:12

That's true Baloon! Grin

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 24/12/2011 11:13

I was a bit sorry for him until you said the last bit. He doesn't sound very nice, frankly, and you're probably giving him a lot more consideration than he would give you in the same situation.

Run away, run away, and give him as much time as possible to get over it. And to get the money back on your presents.

spanna41 · 24/12/2011 11:58

I'm with Annie! Get it over with, have a lovely Xmas eve and day with your DC. It's a saving grace that your DC are not involved and really aware of him. I hope that you make the right decision for you. Sod the presents - get yourself out on Boxing Day and have some time to reflect and 'you' time. You're best off out. Have a good day with that lovely family of yours :)

pinkyredrose · 24/12/2011 12:13

You could always feign sickness on boxing day, say you overdid it on xmas day? Then you won't have to pretend everything is fine and his daughter gets to see him boxing day.

I would def tell him before NYE tho and give back any pressies he has given you. You don't really want to start 2012 on false hope do you, for both your sakes.

PiratecatClaus · 24/12/2011 12:18

pinky's idea of illness is a goodie. the shits maybe? noone want's to go near anybody with the shits.

Xmas Smile BUT to be fair, you should probably have done it way before now.

pinkyredrose · 24/12/2011 12:25

Yes a good dose of D n V should give you a few days grace, just saw that he's coming over today, call him now and tell him!

Gay40 · 24/12/2011 12:26

I think I'd just tell him today, as soon as he turns up. It will only knacker this Christmas. If it knackers all his other Christmases, that's his problem.
The quickest and kindest method, then off he goes.

yellowraincoat · 24/12/2011 12:29

Wow, I was feeling a bit sorry for this guy, but leaving your 15 year old daughter alone on boxing day is a bit rubbish.

I'd dump him now, he has his daughter, he's not totally alone.

stuffedauberginexmasdinner · 24/12/2011 15:02

Yes changed my mind now too. Tell him to spend boxing day with his DD.

He isn't worth you worrying over.

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