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Original poster

think this is it

9 replies

chocolatelolly · 19/12/2011 14:46

Sat here feeling a bit sick, thinking about things so I thought I would post for opinions.
Dh and I have not been getting on for a while now. Things came to a head last week when he said he didn't want me at his works Christmas do as he would just be talking about work and he doesn't get to come to mine(no partners allowed), also that he couldn't relax and be himself if I went. I got really hurt and angry and we argued back and fore for a few days. I ended up giving ultimatum that I either went with, or we split( bit harsh I know),
Ended up neither of us went. Thurs night stayed up really late discussing everything, he let everything out, saying we haven't been happy for a while, he also said the dreaded love you but not in love with you and doesn't feel affectionate towards me, which I already knew.
Past few days we have been pleasant but I know its not right, when I text him sat when I was shopping to say 'are we moving forward'he just said we had discussed all on Thurs. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
YuleingFanjo · 19/12/2011 14:48

seems a bit much to split over not going to the christmas party. Plenty of people don't go to their partner's party!

Is there more to this?

If you don't love eachother and can't be arsed to try then splitting seems the best oprion,

Original poster
chocolatelolly · 19/12/2011 14:55

It was the straw. He has been off with me for a while, no affection etc

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 19/12/2011 14:57

So he has met someone else?

tessa6 · 19/12/2011 14:58

I wonder if maybe you already know but want us to say that there's probably some other significant relationship, romantic or otherwise, that he's concealing from you and it's work related.

Chocolokka · 19/12/2011 15:04

I can sympathize with you over the lack of affection because it can make other smaller rejections feel so much worse. Has he aknieledged responsibility for the lack of affection? My dh did, said he just started taking iDVDs a couple for granted but knew he should be more affectionate.I feel as you do at the moment and I'm considering counseling but your dh go for that. I have two children so I can't just up and leave without more of a fight. Then again my dh insists that he is still in love with me. Because due to the lack if affection I felt he was no longer in love with me, he insists that's not the case. Has your husband actually said that to you? Do you show him affection?

fuzzynavel · 19/12/2011 15:39

Best thing to do is get some space between you so you can take stock. This can't be done whilst you're still together.

What about a temporary separation?

Original poster
chocolatelolly · 19/12/2011 15:56

I don't know if he has met someone else. If he has then they are from work, as he doesn't go anywhere else

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 19/12/2011 16:13

It would certainly make sense about him not wanting you at his work do, if he has told an OW that you and he are no longer together or not getting on then it would blow his cover if you had gone with him.

Its not looking good, sorry :(

Pakdooik · 19/12/2011 16:16

Isn't this rather too important to be discussin via text?

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