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Original poster

Babysitting dilema - what do you think?

16 replies

ginnyjeans · 18/12/2011 23:26

My friend and I are single parents and we use a Teenage babysitter who is very reliable for the occasional night out. She does bring her boyfriend who is a lovely guy, our girls get on with him and we are comfortable with the arrangement. She cannot babysit for us this weekend but she has suggested her boyfriend babysit our two little girls on his own. I feel awful as not sure I am comfortable with this at all. Am I being sexist? Is it appropriate for an 18 year old boy to babysit two little girls who are nine and why after typing that do I feel that the answer is definitely no when I would happily have him in the house with the girls when his girlfriend babysits. What do you think? People do hire Manny's after all! What a quandry!

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 18/12/2011 23:28

I would have no problems with it. Your children are used to him. You know him.

Your children are also old enough to tell you if anything inappropriate happens, which I would very much doubt.

WorraLiberty · 18/12/2011 23:30

What do you mean by is it 'appropriate'?

I'm not sure what you're driving at here.

Bossybritches22 · 18/12/2011 23:33

I can understand your hesitation but I'm sure he'd be fine as your DD's know him from previous sittings.

Have a good night out & be thankful you now have a back up babysitter!Xmas Grin

AgentProvocateur · 18/12/2011 23:37

I'd better phone my 16-year-old son and tell him to come home from the house where he's currently babysitting in case people think he's a paedo it's not appropriate. Hmm

WorraLiberty · 18/12/2011 23:39

And I'd better phone my almost 20yr old son and tell him to get the hell out of his girlfriend's flat while her 2yr old DD is there!

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern · 18/12/2011 23:39

Why is it inappropriate? I think he is an ideal babysitter as the girls know him already so not a stranger. Hmm

mumblechum1 · 18/12/2011 23:40

My ds is 17 and babysits for several families including a 5 year old girl who makes him play Sparkle Pony and camping games for hours on end.

I think he'd be horrified if anyone suggested that he was a paedo - he's just a nice kid who likes earning £5 an hour for eating someone else's crisps and watching their telly once the kids are in bed.

hevak · 18/12/2011 23:40

My (male) cousin used to babysit my siblings and me when we were younger - similar age gap to what you're describing. When other people (apart from extended family) found out that he babysat, they asked him to babysit too. He was mature, responsible etc - so no worries that he couldn't cope.

I'm assuming he won't be bathing them? I used to babysit as a teenager, including boys (similar age gap again!) and they didn't want me to see them naked in the bath (or at all!) - just trying to point out that it's not sexist to worry about that, if that's what you're worried about... but I'm sure I'm projecting!

If he's happy to babysit and the girls are happy, then why not? Having said that, I know the default setting to the situation is "that's odd" that an 18yo bloke would be happy to babysit, which if you think about it another way, is quite sad that society says it's "wrong" for boys/men to be interested in spending time with children (who aren't their own family) in a way that's it's "good" for girls/women to be?

hevak · 18/12/2011 23:42

cross posts with loads of you! that'll teach me to type quicker!

Original poster
ginnyjeans · 18/12/2011 23:44

I know it sounds crazy but I just wasn't comfortable with the idea when she initially offered and my friend felt the same. I guess it's because a) he's never babysat them on his own and b) of all the crazy things you hear in the media that make you suspicious of putting your trust in anyone . I'm certainly not accusing him of anything. I just wanted to feel like a responsible parent and find out how others felt. He is a lovely guy, really sweet and having read the comments I can see we were perhaps having silly thoughts about it.

OP posts:
Bossybritches22 · 18/12/2011 23:49

OP not silly to have the thoughts as long as you realise they're unfounded & don't let them cloud your common sense!

WorraLiberty · 18/12/2011 23:51

When it comes to the care of children, neglect/abuse is not just a male domain.

There have been many children abused/neglected/left in distress by babysitters who simply don't give a shit and end up ignoring the kids needs.

You hear some horrendous stories about babysitters having friends round, getting pissed, taking drugs, fighting, blasting music etc....

If you trust his teenage girlfriend to look after your kids, I really don't see why you don't trust him?

bigshinydinosaur · 19/12/2011 16:19

You know him and the girls know him; I really don't see the problem here.

KatieScarlett2833 · 19/12/2011 16:22

The nice boy next door used to babysit DS

I never thought twice about it and still wouldn't

ModreB · 19/12/2011 17:42

I have had all of my DS's (3 of them) babysat by a male babysitter. They have also been babysat by a female babysitter.

What is the difference between a girl babysitting for boys, and a boy babysitting for girls?

KissMyShineyRedA · 19/12/2011 17:56

Personally, I wouldn't be comfortable with it unless he was a registered childminder.

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