My condoms in his wallet.

[Stayinsidethelines]

That's it. Found condoms in his wallet. Our condoms. Usually kept beneath the matress. Where the rest of them are! Oh... And... Lying about money and naked pic of himself on computer. That are obviously sent to someone else! What do I do?

Get rid now. No matter how hard and complicated it seems. My ex was unfaithful 18 months in with some random girl he worked with. He went on to have sex repeatedly with anyone who would co-operate for the rest of the 8 years we were together. I did not find out the extent until the end and my blood runs cold at thought of the risks he took with mine and my dc's health - two pregnancies in that time. I believe Men like this do not change.

Well, I mean't ask so he knows you aren't a fool.

There is no reasonable explnation for this, but give him a reason for why he is leaving - and make him leave.

I'm so sorry this has come at this time, but he is cheating or, at the very least, attempting to.

I'm just finding it hard to work out how to tell him I know. It's so stupid! I find out all this stuff and I'm petrified how he'll react. I hate a scene. This is a scene that can't be avoided and that upsets me too. I know all his pleas of innocence will mean nothing. Which in turn will only cause him to get angrier. Don't pancake though. Will call gardai if that happens.

Gah... Pancake??? Panic of course

Just to add to drama... He said he'd buy me touchpad for xmass which he said was too expensive for him to buy alone so my lovely mother in law was chipping in for. I said i didn't want it so he's just gone and bought it for himself. So now he's apparently ask mother in law to chip in for a different gift. We are spending afternoon with them tomorrow so I plan to snowball him with that logic just as we meet them tomorrow!

Up until your last post I was going to say check that the money& condoms weren't due to him booking a hotel stay away.....but then I read about the emails, Christmas gift fiasco and naked picture and realise that he's clearly a massively flawed t**t. I'm sorry you're going to have to deal with this. Limit how much he can influence you and your children's lives ASAP.

I am more confused by my sense of not caring. I loved him until I discovered all this and now I feel nothing towards him. No hatred or rage. Just nothing.

I don't find that difficult to understand

if this is a deal breaker for you (as it would be for me) you have switched off your emotions to protect yourself

some lucky peope can do that

maybe the hurt will come flooding back later, but tbh, I would make the most of your numbness

protective mechanisms are there for a reason !